I woke up early this morning. It was still dark. Squinting, I could see the clock across the room.
There is movement in the bed next to me. T is there... sleeping and tangled up in my sheets. I just can't think of a better way to end the year.
This is what I have always dreamed of. I roll over and smile as I go back to sleep. When we both wake several hours later, his face is the first thing I see.
Before getting out of bed, we were chatting about... well... just regular stuff. We got up, showered, got dressed and headed out for breakfast. We went to a local Dunkin Donuts. I got coffee. He got a couple of donuts. We found a small table next to the window. I brought my BlackBerry tablet with me and as we enjoyed breakfast together, we did a little research on a business idea he had.
After almost 5 years, I am still happiest when we are together. We were not doing anything remarkable, just having breakfast and coffee. It's just that we were doing it together, that made it wonderful for me.
As I move into 2013, I am going to make some changes in my life. I'll also try to blog more often. I may also change the focus somewhat.
You know that fruit you find at a Chinese buffet. They look like small white golf balls. They are Longans and my daughter loves them. She calls them "circles". You cannot buy them in a regular supermarket, but in most Asian markets the come in cans.
I went to see T last night. I met him at his house and we went out for dinner and a little shopping. While we were out, I asked about going to the Asian market for some circles.
There is a small Asian market near T's office but that is quite a way from his house. I was just about to give up when he remembered there is a new market not too far away. We headed that direction. I was expecting a small store packed with stuff. But when we pulled in, it was not what I expected. It was huge!! And it was full of Asian people. Some of the guys there were cute.
We got what we needed and headed back to the car.
"This place is great!!" I told him. "When you decide to dump me, I know where to come to find my next Asian boyfriend."
"Consider yourself dumped." he said, but got in the car anyway.
Last night I was at T's house. I met him there after he and his family had gone to church. His mom made this beef / noodle soup I really like so I was excited to join them for dinner.
T's oldest sister from California has been staying there of the past few weeks. She is a little unsure about the whole gay thing and is not thrilled about T having a boyfriend. Last night at dinner she sat next to me, just because it was the only seat left at the table. She basically ignored me for most of the meal. Even though I know she speaks fluent English, I have never heard her say anything in English.
At the end of the meal, T's parents left the table and T and the sisters I know well, switched to English and I joined in the conversation. His older sister (the one who had been ignoring me) comment she agreed with what I had said. I noticed the change. Later, T told me his father told his sister I'm nice. I thought that was pretty cool. Maybe he was giving her permission to be nice to me.
Maybe there is hope after all.
After dinner T asked me to help him set his Christmas village under the tree. I took the picture you see here last night. Don't you think he has nice knees? Anyway, he has little street lights, little trees, and little people that all needed to be placed in just the right spot. We taped the street lamps to the floor. We ran the power cords. We placed the little houses in the right order to make a little town.
I loved watching him. He had a vision of what it should all look like. It was fun to watch him work it out in his head and then place everything in the right spot. (The fact he is a little OCD adds to my amusement.). I know that he loved having me there with him too. For a while, it was almost like it was our house and our tree.
But it wasn't. The evening came to a close and it was time for me to go. I felt a little sad. Actually, always feel a little sad when I have to leave him. As we hugged good night, he noticed a tear, but just one. I was not crying, but sometimes my emotions show more than I want them too.
I drove home and I knew he was waiting up for me to get there. Making sure I made it home safely before going to sleep himself. Even though I was home alone, I could feel his love.
I am gay man in his 40's who was married for 18 years to a straight woman, who is still my very best friend. We have 4 children together. She is now remarried and we still want to be supportive of each other and make a stable family for our kids.
Cast of Characters
Jim: That's me
K: The wonderful woman I married in 1993. We divorced in November 2011, and she is still my best friend.
T: My ex-boyfriend. We were together from 2008 to 2013. He is still an important person in my life.
AJ: K's new husband. They got married December 2011.
Most of the images used in my blog I found floating around the Internet. I believe, in good faith, that they are either public domain, or my non-commercial use falls under fair use guidelines. If, however, you are the are the copyright owner of any image and wish me to remove it, please contact me and I will do so as quickly as possible