tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657524303983911401.post1036050523571934836..comments2023-12-24T15:38:38.348-05:00Comments on Conflicting Clarity: More Conflicting Clarity jimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16886998354761882106noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657524303983911401.post-91411756946083349602014-01-30T21:25:59.302-05:002014-01-30T21:25:59.302-05:00Rob...and you wonder why you have no one loving yo...Rob...and you wonder why you have no one loving you...still blaming the gay culture or internet dating? Give advice to Jim all you want, but don't be rude toward me.Thttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07010105665796027175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657524303983911401.post-41135046763097418112014-01-30T19:55:16.914-05:002014-01-30T19:55:16.914-05:00Go meet the guy! Hurry before he gets frustrated....Go meet the guy! Hurry before he gets frustrated. See what happens. You'll be surprised how quickly T disappears in the rearview mirror.RBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17761591668246881356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657524303983911401.post-45810805839190128902014-01-30T15:20:04.575-05:002014-01-30T15:20:04.575-05:00If JC is the right guy for you, your relationship ...If JC is the right guy for you, your relationship will naturally develop, regardless of how you feel about T.<br /><br />You're jumping ahead a few steps. First you need to meet him, then you need to spend time with him a few times. By the third or fourth date (at the latest) you'll either be thinking about JC all the time or you'll still be thinking about T. Whichever it is, that's the direction your connection with JC will ultimately take.<br /><br />Perhaps the best thing you can do right now is keep an open mind.TwoLiveshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05801244463128618355noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657524303983911401.post-60251459290219306832014-01-30T08:18:28.512-05:002014-01-30T08:18:28.512-05:00I think I’ve written a lot before but I’m going to...I think I’ve written a lot before but I’m going to write it again and again…you won’t get over T if you two still stay in contact. Or at least it will take so much longer. And you have to make it clear to yourself – T isn’t the guy for you because his and your life goals are so very different. <br />And now I’m asking a really daring question: Is your heart still attached to T or “your idea of T”? Sounds strange? Well, is it really T or is it the T you’d like to have, the T you had when you two “played” house? I don’t doubt that you are also friends, that he is a nice guy and that you have been good together whenever you had time to be together. But T also was for a long time the representative of a life you wanted to live, of your dreams. And your mind combines partnership and T sill together. But this is not going to happen. Get it in your brain: T doesn’t want to live with you as partners! (sorry to be this harsh, it just needed to be said and T – don’t come and say otherwise, don’t explain, don’t make excuses, we all know you have your reasons but in the end it comes down to the question “what/who is more important?” and it’s not a question of wrong or right, every decision or choice we make, even if we don’t make one, is one and we have to live with the consequences). <br />I’m not the only one, nearly everybody in the comments in the last five months (and before) had advised you to stop having contact with T. And Jim, sorry, but you’re still emotionally attached as long as you stay in contact which also means that you’ll never feel comfortable enough to get to know a new guy. <br />About JC – I would suggest that you just meet him. Jim, who says you have to attach your heart immediately? Maybe you two click, get a connection, maybe not. You’ll never know if you don’t try. Only problem is – you don’t know if you are even open enough for that, true? You are clinging to the past. It’ll never change if you don’t change that.<br />Personally I think that everybody should try living happily on his own after a separation, which makes you stronger and less dependent on others. <br />But maybe it’s different for other people, you e.g. seem to be very eager to define your own happiness through a relationship. It seems to be your ultimate goal. I wonder if you are stressed about JC because your sub consciousness realizes that even if you liked him and he liked you, even if you two were able to fall in love, you’d hand over the key to your happiness again to another guy. <br />Okay, think about it (or just click it away and think “crazy woman”), I’ve said my part. As always, nothing was written with the intention to hurt anyone, more with the intention to get you thinking, to get you taking care of yourself better. Like…love yourself, or how can you expect others to love you ;)<br />Sunnenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657524303983911401.post-5421053082179969612014-01-30T02:46:21.303-05:002014-01-30T02:46:21.303-05:00The ONLY way to move on is to break away from T, d...The ONLY way to move on is to break away from T, difficult as it is. You already know whose time you are wasting, doncha? Yeah, and it is not yours. Try to be selfless in this part of your life (you seem to have been this most of it, but now, especially now), so please, one last time; break or don't. This all suits T, who is not at any fault either, but it is in his interest to keep you there. All the best. Been there. Brian U.KAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com