tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657524303983911401.post632310930157241925..comments2023-12-24T15:38:38.348-05:00Comments on Conflicting Clarity: Okay, I Heard You...jimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16886998354761882106noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7657524303983911401.post-2039338345420064452014-07-15T18:30:23.764-04:002014-07-15T18:30:23.764-04:00I've been thinking about your last post. I ha...I've been thinking about your last post. I haven't read the comments there yet.<br /><br />You're definitely not an asshole...<br /><br />but I've been contemplating how culpable you are for your own pain.<br /><br />As far as I understand it, the fundamental problem between you and T is that you'll never be able to be live-in partners, at least so long as his parents are alive. T's inability to compromise on the issue makes him look like the bad guy, but as he has said multiple times, he told you about that limitation the first time he met you - and many times afterward. Your response has been to repeatedly beat your head against his cemented will about this for years and years, yet absolutely nothing has changed. That doesn't make you an asshole...I'd say "incredibly stubborn" or "dense" would be more apropos. <br /><br />That said, I wonder if the fundamental problem here isn't that you need to get over T but that you need to be 100% comfortable with yourself. That is, you need to be confident that your happiness REQUIRES living together OR you need to decide that you're willing to compromise your wants because having T as a romantic partner is ultimately more important to you. It seems to me that if you CLEARLY and UNEQUIVOCABLY could choose one option or the other, your internal struggle would be over. <br /><br />Instead you've been ping-ponging back and forth, and ouch, after all this time, that's got to hurt.<br /><br />Yes, I'm going to go with that.<br /><br />Your hurdle isn't separating from T, it's knowing what is truly most important to you and making a choice.TwoLiveshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05801244463128618355noreply@blogger.com