There are many time that I do not have tie to do any boo hooing. I have a lot going on. I have a good job that keeps me busy not only during the day, but many evenings too. (I bring work home) I have 4 kids and that is a lot of running around in itself. Two of those kids are playing baseball, of course on different teams). This is not to mention homework for all 4 of them during the week.
K has been working 2 or 3 nights a week so I have to deal with dinner and bed time on my own. I don't mind doing it, after all it is part of the parenthood gig, right?
I have reestablished contact with T. I called him early last week, and we talked for almost an hour. He noted that we spoke longer during that conversation than we usually talked when we were boyfriends. I had to admit he was right. He was not snotty about, and said he was not angry. I take him at his word. In any case, it was nice to talk to him, and I realized I had missed it. We do not talk every day, but as our new friendship develops, I suspect we will talk more often.
I am 10 days away from my departure to Internet City to meet Internet Guy. It seems both T and K think it will be nothing but a non stop sex fest. While I will admit that I am interested in ...um ... well ... you know, but that is not my primary reason for going. There are plenty of naked guys here, I do not need to fly half way around the world for a little action. I am taking this trip for really one reason. Do IG and I click. Will the spark that I hope is there really be there? I hope so. And I hope he things there is enough of a spark to make him think he wants to be with me.
He is looking for a sign from God. His faith is very important to him and he believes he is in tune to hear when God speaks to him. K calls it her gut. T calls it ESP. (I call it ESPN.) What ever they call it, I think it is rally the same thing. It is something outside themselves that is guiding them. I don't know if IG will hear what he is expecting, but I think I am more anxious about it than he is.
On another note, K and her new man (lets start calling him AJ) are making progress. They have finally articulated to each other that they are interested in each other. Again I am not going to go into the detail of her relationship with him in this blog except to say that they are each pleased with the slow progress they have made with each other. In the end, if AJ can help K feel less lonely, and a little happier, then I am all in favor of it. They got to spend some time together this weekend, and from the stories she told me, I think I will like him too. (No not that kind of liking you sicko.) He seems like a nice guy, who puts his daughter first, himself second. He and K seem to have a good time together. She seems happier, which makes me happier.
5 comments:
Clarification, Jim: What I said was I think you two will click because you two have talked for a long time and are infatuated with each other. put up your best behaviour. During this visit, you two will put up your best behaviour, so, of course, it's going to work out. I also said the reality will surface when you're actually together, when the baggages are involved. But, I also said that I think it would work out for you and that I'm happy for you. As far as my ESPN, I was right about you most of the time. I never said your trip is going to be a sex fest...it's your fantasy. And, it's true that I'm no longer angry. I don't have time for that. I really hope it works out for you. Whenever he's here, I would love to invite both of you to hang out at my new firepit.
But, do not twist my words again...
:)))
hmmmm So much to comment on...so little space...
First let me elucidate the opinion that my opinion..or anyone elses for that matter, really doesnt have much weight at this stage of the game (bring on that ESPN metaphor!) No one sees what is between you and IG..not even you or IG. That meeting will be a tell...which is what hearing from God is all about. It's not a literal voice, not even an inner voice..not even really a voice. It's the summnation of what happens when two meet...the body language, the verbal play, the time spent and how it is spent... it is everything together that will speak. It is the totality of the moment, and the following moments when masks get dropped and the real you, the real IG emerge. Frankly, your both to well lived and too old to be doing the best face first thing. It wastes time.. which is a commodity that I find in increasingly short supply. Who has the time and energy to waste with that nonsense? Be real... and dont be afraid....
Clarification: By saying "put up the best behavior," I didn't mean Jim is a fake and will pretend. I meant he will be excited and be positive and make the best of things. Jim is a great man. He doesn't need to be not real, and he will be real. To me, he's very handsome, too. He is very likable. So, Jim, don't be nervous. Have a good time. You know I always tell you the truth (good or bad).
Too bad you're meeting someone so far away. Just adds more complexity to this whole situation.
I dont think Jim will do fake...it really is counterproductive to what is supposed to be happening..which is meet, spend some time together that will help us discover if what we see on the phone continues over into real life. The conversations have been intense at times, light at others. The verbal is there... but a relationship, well, that takes seeing one another and discovering if the whole picture works..warts and all. It's not going to be sweetness and light all the time. Darkness is part of the picture as well... the composition takes not only positive space, but negative space to communicate a message. That being said..I, for one, want it all - the negative and the positive. That is the essence of a real relationship. And as for him being in NC and me being on the left coast, if this works, if it connects, if it makes a whole picture - then I have no problem moving to NC - of making the attempt to be there. I have no particular attachment to this spot (other than the fact that it is warm) I've dated and dated and dated, and what I want in a man is a rare find, but I will not settle for anything less. So the fact that I find it in somebody who is a continent away... well I am grateful that I at least think I have found it. The move is miniscule in comparison to the find. But, then, I have lived my life by that metaphor. There was a man who was walking through a field, stumbled and fell. Upon that fall he discovered hidden in that field a great treasure. Excited by his find he quickly rehid the treasure, went and sold all he had to buy that field and obtain the treasure.
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