Friday night I might get the
chance to meet K's boyfriend AJ. Well, actually we've met briefly of several
occasions. Just a "How ya doo-in?" kind of thing followed by some
uncomfortable silence, followed by him and K leaving to where every they are
going.
I understand his discomfort. It's not every day a man meets the husband of
the woman he is sleeping with and the husband tells them to have a good time,
knowing full well what is going to happen. It's also uncommon for divorcing
couple be as good a friends as K and I are. Add the whole gay thing on top of
that and there is a whole lot weird we are asking him to deal with. Through it
all, he not running away from K. He must really like her to be willing to deal
with a situation that is sooooo far outside his experience.
Anyway, K and I think it
might be time for he and I to get to know each other. I have no expectation the
he and I will be friends, but I hope we can. I will be happy if we are friendly
and I will settle for tolerant or indifferent.
Hostility would be bad and honestly it would probably be a show stopper
for K. If he could not live with me, I think it is
unlikely K would continue to see him. K
talks about him a lot and even thought I don't know him, I sort of feel like I
do. Because he is important to K, he is important to me.
The next step will be to
introduce him to me and T together. I don't think he is ready for that just
yet. He has a live and let live attitude toward gay people. As for me, he is
not hostile toward me and T, but I think
it will take him little while to get over the "ick" factor a lot of
straight people feel when they think of 2 men together. I understand it and
most accounts I read indicate that most quickly get over that once they get to
know a gay couple.
Why do I care what K's
boyfriend thinks? Oddly enough he is an
important part of the dream of how I want my life. I want to have a partner who
I can integrate into my family (and integrate into his). I want K to have a
husband who loves like a straight man loves his wife. Remember the dream? I have talked about it before.
Thanksgiving dinner.
Me and T
K and her husband (maybe AJ)
My kids
Maybe other family. T's
sister. AJ's daughter & her boyfriend. All sitting around the table.
Enjoying each other's company.
* sigh *
Anyway, I know that dream is
a ways off, but I'll let you know how laying the ground work goes.
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