If you ask most gay guys to close their eyes and think about the about what their dream relationship with their dream man, would look like, what do they see? Do they see gay cruises? Do they see dinner parties? Do they see romantic walks on the beach, holding hands. Do they see non-stop hot sex? Do they see going out as a couple every weekend and hanging out with their homo friends or maybe teasing the single homo's with their togetherness?
I may see some of that stuff. I would be lying if I said the idea of regular hot sex did not interest me, but is is not the only thing that interests me. I like the idea of a gay cruise with my dream man, but it is not what I see when I close my eyes.
Last week when I dropped in on T, he was working on a box of charts he brought home from the office. He does this every night. It's the only way he can stay caught up on his work. He sits on the floor with his boxes of files and has forms spread out in a semi-circle around him. It looks like chaos to me, but to him, it is arranged so he can work efficiently. As he flipped thought them, reading test results and writing instructions for his staff to fax this or that he was talking to me. Telling me what he was doing as he was doing it. It was almost like he was talking to himself, and I was there to hear it. Sometimes when I work on stuff I talk to myself. I don't know if he is like that all the time or if it was just for me. Either way, I loved it. I felt drawn into his world and I was thrilled.
We were not doing anything exiting. I was not waiting for him to finish so we could do something else. I was just thrilled to be there with him. Just being in the room with him physically present was enough for me.
These are the things my dreams are made of. Just being together. Being physically present and with each other. We could be watching TV, working on homework, making a meal, or cleaning up- after a meal. It is the being that is important to me. I am pretty low maintenance. I have simple needs.
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On another note,
I ordered lesson one of Vietnamese this weekend. Soon I will be able to know when T and his sisters are talking about me when I am sitting right there.
4 comments:
"He sits on the floor with his boxes of files and has forms spread out in a semi-circle around him. It looks like chaos to me, but to him, it is arranged so he can work efficiently." I used to do this all the time and it would drive Greg nuts. He couldn't understand how I could manage two dozen projects at the same time. He'd then scream and run from the room. I wish he would be content to sit in the same room with me, the way you do with T.
The fundamentalists think we gays live much more bacchanalian lives than we actually do. My partner and I have been together for twelve years and our day-to-day lives aren't terribly different than our straight friends lives.
I helped him with his Onion chowder!... :)))
It sounds like your enjoying being with the person you were met to be with.......breathing slowly and contentedly.......as it should be.
Well done.
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