Yesterday, the kids and I drove back home. All together we logged just over 2,500 miles in 11 days, but we all had a great time. This was my favorite view of the whole trip. I could not get enough of being on the water on our pond in the middle of nowhere.
When ever I go to camp, I have time to think about stuff. I often think about things differently when I am there. Here are some observations.
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The first night we were there, after I got the kids tucked into the tent, went an sat by the fire. I was there by myself since my sister and her husband had gone to bed wit their kids. There was an empty chair next to me. I was missing T terribly. I closed my eyes and leaned back in my chair. I had almost convinced myself that I could reach over and hold his hand. But, of course, he was not there.
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A kayak is a metaphor for life. Especially if you are a child. This trip, my daughter learned to paddle her own kayak. She was very excited about it. I launched mine first and my mother helped my daughter launch hers. As she drifted away from the shore she was not sure what what to do. She knew how to paddle, since I had taught her before with her sitting in my kayak. This time, she was on her own. I was not far away, but the truth is I could not help her move that boat. If that boat was going to get where she wanted it, she was going to have to do it herself.
"Where do you want to go?" I asked her. She thought a moment and said, "Let's go to the dam." There is a small dam on the southern end of the lake.
"OK. You lead the way." I told her. She picked up her paddle, turned her kayak around and headed south. On the way she explored Lilly pads and and the other shallow areas on that end of the pond. She was the captain of her little ship and she made it go where she wanted it to go.
I think it is a good lesson for life. You need to be the captain of your little ship and if you want it to go in a certain direction, you need to make it go where you want it.
1 comment:
Yes! Now, take this concept, and carve out some time with T, and decide what your future as a couple is going to look like. Be brave! Be bold! Be kind and understanding! But talk, talk, talk about your wants and needs and desires as one half of a couple, as someone that loves T to pieces.
Its both scary and thrilling to watch the young ones take those first wobbly steps away from us, but so necessary for them. You are a good dad. Stop doubting yourself, yes you are.
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