Last night T and I went out for dinner. I had to work all weekend, so it was nice to have a few minutes to see him.
I am not bothered by it, but when we go out I often wonder if the people around us can tell we are a couple. A gay couple. T always says, of course they know. A white guy and an Asian guy together can only be a gay couple.
Generally, I am an observer of people. I watch people as they pass me. I look at their eyes, their facial expressions and changes in them as I approach or pass. Last night I was watching at dinner.
After the people at the table next to us (behind T, I was facing it) left, a kid came to clear the table. He was an Asian kid about 19-ish, and he glanced over at me as he was clearing the table. I met his eyes and he looked away. A few seconds later, he looked at me again. This time his expression was slightly different, decidedly negative. He only looked of for a second, finished his work and left.
"I think that guy thinks were, gay." I said.
T chuckled at me, "I think everyone in this place think's we're gay."
He was probably right, but that kid didn't approve.
After dinner, he asked me if I wanted to go for ice cream. Of course I did. Ice cream is once of my real weaknesses. So we drove to a local ice cream shop. It was empty except for 2 older ladies who were chatting over their ice cream. T and I sampled a few flavors, ordered and took our treats to go.
As we walked out, one of the ladies looked up at me. I could tell she thought we were gay too. Her look, however, was not disapproving. Simply a casual acknowledgement as I passed by.
Once we got outside, I told T, "I think those ladies think we're gay." He looked at me, but didn't say anything.
Then it hit me. Straight guys don't go out together for ice cream!!!
We laughed all the way back to the car.
5 comments:
It comes to mind that we just had an election in which same-sex marriage was voted in in 3 states by referendum. If people don't know that there are gay couples out there by now, I think they are in for a rude surprise.
I have no personal desire to change to make others comfortable. I don't ask others to change to make *me* comfortable, either. I used to feel negatively judged in the situations you are presenting here. Now, I just figure that they've got growing up to do, and that they can just marinate in their own negative juices all they need to in order to arrive at the life lesson they are so clearly avoiding.
The mere THOUGHT that "it's not ok for you to BE, nor to BE exactly as you are" is just a ridiculous for a grown human being to have.
Enjoy having ice cream together :-)
I saw two men out for ice cream one night and wondered if they were gay. It was confirmed when after they left and were heading down the block they held hands. In the neighborhood they were in I'm pretty sure most of the people wouldn't think twice about seeing a gay couple. (I just like to people watch so I'm always wondering what their stories are).
On the other side I always wonder if people look at my sister and I and wonder if we are a couple since we are together a lot.
I'm glad you an T are working things out.
Dinner and ice cream? You are one lucky guy. I'm glad that you and T are working extra hard to squeeze in even small moments of time together. Your post made me smile.
I think some straight guys do go for ice cream together, but mostly it seems to be elderly men, not the younger set. There is a wonderful ice cream shop quite close to our house, and in the early afternoons, you quite often see these two older guys sitting there eating ice cream, chatting about one thing and another. And like you, I had thought they were a couple, but after eaves dropping a few times, I think not. Just two long term buddies enjoying retirement and well made ice cream.
"I think that guy thinks were gay." UM... You are gay?? Do you mean you think they realize that you are gay?
Jim you have paid one hell of a price to be in this place. Stop concerning yourself with what others think and start emphasizing what you think. It is really important to get past such concerns. Our days are short... only you can decide to make the best of them.
OMG, those people think we're gay!!!
Who the fuck cares what they think?
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