Lonely Coffee

After returning from England, I was home for one day and then left on a cruise vacation. K planned it and asked me if I wanted to come. Who was going? A crowd. It was me, my 4 kids, K, AJ, and AJ’s daughter. Eight of us all together on a Carnival cruise ship for 6 days. What could possibly go wrong? Luckily, we got such a good deal we could afford to upgrade to large cabin with a large balcony on the port side of the ship. We were all close, but no on top of each other.

I would have liked the cruise a better if the Chef was there with me. (Or T, but I am trying not to think about that.)

Even though I was there with a large group, I spent a surprising amount of time alone. The older kid mostly did their own thing. The younger kids had special activities just for them. K and AJ spent their time together. That left me alone. I didn’t really mind that much. I bought my kindle and a bunch of gay romance novels. I liked wandering the decks and watching people. There were a lot of people to watch too. Some very attractive. Others…. not so much.



I shared a cabin with my 3 sons. Each morning I would get up before them and head up on deck. Even on the days were in port, I was up before the ship docked. Before I got up on the deck I would stop by the breakfast buffet and make myself a cup of coffee. I would go up, lean on the rail and look out to sea. Sometimes there were other ships or an approaching port. Other times there was nothing but the open ocean. While I liked the time to myself, I really would have preferred to share it with someone special.



I was thinking about the Chef and how it would have been nice to have him at the rail with me. Sipping our coffee, sharing the experience and building our relationship. I thought about T too. He would have loved the beauty of the early morning sun on the water.

I could not help but be a little sad.