Thinking about love

I had a good weekend and I have having a pretty good start to my week.

Today is is K's birthday. Last Mother's day I bought her a membership at a local spa so she can get a massage once a month. Her last one was today, so I renewed the membership for her birthday for the next 6 months. She really likes it and is a rare thing that she does for herself. She deserves it.

We have talked superficially about me starting to look for my own place. (The stuff in my price range is not luxury accommodations, to be sure.) We talked some about the kids and about how she will make me take our king sized bed because she hates it and wants a new one.

All in all we have had a good couple of days with my best friend and I feel pretty good.

I have also been thinking about T. This picture hangs in his office. He painted it himself. He painted it when he was dating someone else, but it makes me think of him and I.

While my situation today requires that I focus my attention on myself, my kids, K and work; I think once I am out on my own I will be ready to really explore a relationship with a man. That makes me think of T. I continue to have strong feelings for him. I love him very much. What's more, he has loved me in return. A big part of me thinks that I am stupid for letting him slip away.

Once I have a clear direction in my life and I know what I am doing, I feel like I want to try again with him. If he is willing and available (he's damn cute and lovable). It would not be perfect, there would be challenges, but maybe for love it's worth it. Maybe, just maybe.