Me and God and the Church

As I have mentioned before K works for a Methodist church about 45 min from our house.  She really likes that job.  She likes the people there.  I frequently go with her to Sunday service and other events at church.  The people there are nice and they have been welcoming of her, me and the kids.


But...


They don't know I am gay.  Well, that's not exactly true.  A couple of months ago, K went and talked to the pastor and told him everything about me and the situation we are in.  She is not really ask my permission, but she did tell me about it in advance and I gave her my support.  I figured that if it would make her feel better, then, of course, I would support it.


So she went to talk to him and surprisingly he was not only supportive of her, but also of me.  I see him on Sunday and I think after that talk he actually talks to me more than he did before.  Not a lot, but a little more.  Usually just small talk.


I have never been particularly religions, but I have my faith.  I believe there is a God and I believe in the major tenants of Christianity.  I was raised Roman Catholic, but left the church as soon as I stopped living in my parent's house.  I also believe that "religion" as we understand it today is not a creation of God, but of people.  As a creation of people it is flawed.  


As a gay man I have heard from the Pat Robertsons of the world and the I have a deep mistrust of the people who wrap themselves in Jesus and assume His righteousness.  One of the things I have think about every time I go the to church the people are nice to me is, how I think it will chance if they knew the real me.  Would it really change?  I don't know.

I really believe that God created me and all other gay people to be just the way they are.  I do not know why He did this, and I don't think it matters.  I think God loves me the way I am and he wants me to live the life that he has planned for me.  (Eventually after I figure out all my drama)


So I have decided to reach out to the pastor and talk to him for a while.  K believes that he will be supportive and he will not attempt to change me of tell me I am sinful for being who God made me.  He is willing to talk with me more as long as I want to.  I think this is really nice of him.


This would be the first time I would have had a chance to sit down with a religions professional (well at straight one anyway) and have a talk about my concerns, my fears and the things that have kept me from having the relationship with God that I really want to have.  


I have not made an appointment to see him yet, but I will this weekend.  K is going to send me his e-mail address and I will schedule something in the next few weeks.  I'll let you know how it goes.