Sixteen years ago today K and got married.

I have had a good life with her over the years. What is in store for me now? For her? For our kids?

I'm not sure this is a happy anniversary. It's a little uncomfortable. I am trying to take her out on tomorrow night. It's a day late, but she works in the evening during the week. If we can find a babysitter, we will be all set.

We always have a good time when we are together (which is why all this is so frakking difficult) and it should be fun. I have to find something for us to do.

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This morning I had a melt down. Despair, loneliness, sadness, fear, and guilt combined with the stress I have at work and the fact that my car is giving me difficulties, all came crashing down around my head. I had a routine doctor's appt. this morning, and I suppose it taking 3 stabs for them to dram blood did not help.

I am not the kind of guy who is very emotional, but this morning I came unglued. I could not stop sobbing. At the same time K and I were exchanging text messages so she knew how I was feeling. She said we would work it all out together, but sometimes I don't see how.