Monday, June 2, 2014

So Many Couples

The ship we were on was huge. While 3,100 passengers sounds like a lot, I was surprised how small it felt. I was surprised about how often I would see the same people over and over. Not only would we see them on the ship, but I would see them in port as well.

I don’t know how many gay people there were on this ship, but there were definitely a bunch of couples. I was seeing them everywhere. There were a group of 4 very hot young guys that I later figured out were 2 couples. There at least 2 older gay couples. And a couple of other gay couples, so all together I spotted about 10 couples.

Like I said in my earlier post, I spent a lot of time on my own on this trip. Sometimes in the afternoon or evening I would watch these couples where ever I found them. Sometimes they were laying out in the sun (in various states of undress) or other times, in the evening at the bar on the Lido deck. I was not watching them simply because some of them were eye candy. I guess, I did appreciate the hot bodies in the sun, but I was really watching the interaction between them.

Like these two guys. At one port we had to take a tender from the ship to the port. While I was talking a picture of these ship behind us, I got these guy taking a selfie of themselves. I didn’t notice them right away, but I found myself watching them too.

Each time I saw one of these couples together, I thought about the Chef. I thought about how much better it would have been if he was there with me. Neither of us have much interest in laying in the sun, but I think we both would have liked being in a shady spot with a book and a frozen drink.

But since I was alone, I could not help but be a little sad.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Lonely Coffee

After returning from England, I was home for one day and then left on a cruise vacation. K planned it and asked me if I wanted to come. Who was going? A crowd. It was me, my 4 kids, K, AJ, and AJ’s daughter. Eight of us all together on a Carnival cruise ship for 6 days. What could possibly go wrong? Luckily, we got such a good deal we could afford to upgrade to large cabin with a large balcony on the port side of the ship. We were all close, but no on top of each other.

I would have liked the cruise a better if the Chef was there with me. (Or T, but I am trying not to think about that.)

Even though I was there with a large group, I spent a surprising amount of time alone. The older kid mostly did their own thing. The younger kids had special activities just for them. K and AJ spent their time together. That left me alone. I didn’t really mind that much. I bought my kindle and a bunch of gay romance novels. I liked wandering the decks and watching people. There were a lot of people to watch too. Some very attractive. Others…. not so much.

I shared a cabin with my 3 sons. Each morning I would get up before them and head up on deck. Even on the days were in port, I was up before the ship docked. Before I got up on the deck I would stop by the breakfast buffet and make myself a cup of coffee. I would go up, lean on the rail and look out to sea. Sometimes there were other ships or an approaching port. Other times there was nothing but the open ocean. While I liked the time to myself, I really would have preferred to share it with someone special.

I was thinking about the Chef and how it would have been nice to have him at the rail with me. Sipping our coffee, sharing the experience and building our relationship. I thought about T too. He would have loved the beauty of the early morning sun on the water.

I could not help but be a little sad.