K has been coaching girls volleyball for almost as long as I have known her. She has coached high school, college and Junior Olympic teams over the years. Every MLK day weekend for the past 6 or 7 years she has taken a team to a large tournament at Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. It a about 4 hours drive from where we live. I have never gone, mostly because watching her coach a bunch of girls I don't know is boring. This year my daughter is playing, so I made the trip.
Right now I'm sitting on the balcony of my room on the 10th floor of the hotel right on the beach. It's just after midnight and I'm looking out into the darkness. I'm listening to the pounding surf and it's making me feel good. It's making me feel better.
There is something soothing about listening to actual waves. (Not a wave simulator app). The actual sound of water crashing into the sand, makes me feel good. In the same way that a crackling fire makes me feel good.
Tomorrow when the sun comes up it will be even nicer. Now all I can see is the darkness of the Atlantic Ocean. I can only see the water when the waves break and the hotel lights catch the white surf.
It's like an old friend. It's helping me forget my loneliness. Forget the Chef and how he keep trying to get back into my life just to hurt me again. It does not help me forget T. In fact being here makes me miss T more. I would love to be here with him. He has ZERO tolerance for the cold so he would be watching the surf from inside the hotel room, not on the balcony. :-)
Maybe next year I'll have someone to share this with me. Fore this trip, I'll share it with my daughter and she will always remember going to beach in the winter with Daddy.