Between May and November of last year I lost more than 40 pounds. I was so sure I was going to maintain that loss, I donated all my fat clothes to charity. It was 4 or 5 garbage bags of clothing. Since November I have put most of that weight back on. It's is just so hard to stay on it once you fall off the wagon.
Last night T invited me to dinner with his family. His dad also made a point of making sure I was invited. Usually when I meet them for a dinner out, they will go to casual places. Places you can show up wearing shorts and a t-shirt. Not this time. They were going out to a fancy place in the city to celebrate the closing on the new building. (T bought a second building so he can open a second office. He believes having 2 office will allow him more free time than just one. That's a story for another post.)
In my job I usually work from home and only interact with co-workers via Skype or cell phone so there is no reason for me to dress up for work. T told me I had to dress nicer for this dinner. I tried on my nice pants and while I could button them, they were way too tight. I need to get a pair of fat pants. *sigh*
On my way to meet T in the city, I bought a new pair of pants and a belt. I found the restaurant, got the valet to take my car, and just then T and his family arrived. We walked in, sat down as a big family. I sat in the middle of the table with T on one side and his youngest sister on the other.
The dinner was delicious. Appetizers were just okay, but the dinner itself was fantastic. I had a good time, feeling like a part of the family.
When dinner was over, T rode with me back to his house. It was just after dark, we walked around his yard a little looking at plants and inspecting landscape lighting before going inside. I saw his sister was already changed into more comfortable clothes. I poked around into the cupboard looking for the stash of chocolates T keeps in there. I got the feeling I was home. You know that feeling when you go do something special with your family and then everyone goes back home and slips back into normalcy? That was the feeling I had and it was really nice.
T changed into his comfortable clothes we snuggled together on the couch watching TV. He was holding me with my head on his chest. I could hear his heart beating as I briefly drifted off to sleep. I woke about 20 min later and realized it was time for me to go home.
I loved being with him and I loved I was able to cuddle with him a little. As always, though, I hated leaving. I wanted him to take me to bed and hold me all night long. But that was not going to happen.
I drove home, and though I have love in my heart, I went to bed alone.
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