There are these people who live across the street from me. I call them the Pewterschmidt's. (Named after Peter's rich, stuck up in-laws on "Family Guy").
The Pewterschmidt family is a married couple with 2 children. An older girl and younger boy. They are not rich, but they are stuck up and crazy Christian. When I say "crazy" I mean they are crazy even when you consider I live in North Carolina not far from where Billy Graham still lives. They have pulled their kids out of public school. Judging from the behavior of the kids, they have masculinated (is that a word?) their girl and emasculated the boy.
There is another neighbor up the street, Let's call her Jane. I don't care much for her either, but her and K talk all the time. Jane was at K's wedding and she met T, so she knows all about me and there has been no change in her behavior.
Jame has been dealt a shitty hand by life (bad relationships and a severely disabled daughter). I think, though she milks the system and is full of self-pity. She also has a son (let's call him Pete) that is good friends with my youngest son. They play together all the time. Pete also plays with the Pewterschmidt boy.
One day the Pewterschmidt boy and Pete were playing and Pete suggested they go to his house. The Pewterschmidt boy said no. He could not go there because Pete's mother was going to hell.
Pete, who is 8 or 9, ran home crying. When he explained the story to his mother, Jane walked right down and confronted thePewterschmidt woman. Apparently it got heated with the Pewterschmidt telling Jane, among other things, that her happiness was irrelevant, they were on this earth to serve God.
Jane later relayed this story to K who told me. I wondered out loud what they would say about me. K said she thinks they already know. Apparently the Pewterschmidt boy, who sometimes plays with my youngest son, is not allowed even in my yard, much less in my house.
Now this bugs me. I am pretty sure how these people think about gay people. I know that they think I'm going to hell. That I'm immoral, and the like. I get that.
So, yesterday afternoon, I was cutting my lawn and fuming about this. And then it hit me. Like a revelation from God. I am at peace with who I am. I am at peace with God about who he made me. If fact, now I am out and living my life authentically, I am more at peace than I have ever been.
Evangelicals often talk about a "personal relationship with God", but it seems, they expect that "personal" relationship to be the same for everyone. For me as a gay man, it's not the same as for others. That's why it's PERSONAL. It's mine and mine alone.
So let the Pewterschmidt think what they think. I am who I am and I am at peace with it.
I am gay man in his 40's who was married for 18 years to a straight woman, who is still my very best friend. We have 4 children together. She is now remarried and we still want to be supportive of each other and make a stable family for our kids.
Cast of Characters
Jim: That's me
K: The wonderful woman I married in 1993. We divorced in November 2011, and she is still my best friend.
T: My ex-boyfriend. We were together from 2008 to 2013. He is still an important person in my life.
AJ: K's new husband. They got married December 2011.
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