Saturday, February 2, 2013

The 1950's Housewife

While I was still married and and pretending to be "bi" I would read blogs about gay guys who were just living their lives and dream about that life for myself.   Some blogs were about the single gay guys with large social circles who are open with everyone about who they are.  Others were about the guys in committed relationships, like the marriage I had with K, except they were just being who they are.

Having access to the lives of these guys helped me in immeasurable ways as I worked my way out of the closet and into real life.

Yes, I know that every relationship is different and I do not expect my relationship with T to be like anyone else.  There are some relationship types I aspire to.

In one of the relationships I really admire, the blog author describes his relationship with his husband as like 1950's couple.  While they are both men he (the author) takes on the 50's husband role, and his husband being like the 50's housewife. (This is a crude, abbreviated description of how he has described his relationship.)  

While I admire, and to some extent am jealous of their relationship, I know that my life with T would be different.  I am pretty manly guy and I am not really "housewife" material.  It's just not in my personality, right?

T was over the other night.  He came to my house after work and we planned to go out for dinner.  There were some pretty strong storms in the area and as we left the house it started raining so hard, it was very difficult to see the road.  We turned back to my house and I made some dinner for us.  

I will not tell you what I made so as not to embarrass myself but T pretended to like it.  After dinner we would shower and then snuggle in bed and watch a little TV.  

"Why don't you go ahead and get in the shower.  I'll clean up down here and meet you there." I told him.

He agreed, kissed me and headed up stairs.  I cleared the table and as I loaded the dishwasher I realized I was smiling and humming to myself.   T would have been happy to help me, but I was happier to send him upstairs and do it myself.  

Maybe there is some 1950's housewife in me after all.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That which you are writing about is ultimately doing unselfish things for someone you love. No role proscribed for you by society, you acted out of love. There is joy in giving and serving. If the strand of faux pearls fits, wear it. Know that you do so not because you have to but because you want to.