While I was still married and and pretending to be "bi" I would read blogs about gay guys who were just living their lives and dream about that life for myself. Some blogs were about the single gay guys with large social circles who are open with everyone about who they are. Others were about the guys in committed relationships, like the marriage I had with K, except they were just being who they are. Having access to the lives of these guys helped me in immeasurable ways as I worked my way out of the closet and into real life.
Yes, I know that every relationship is different and I do not expect my relationship with T to be like anyone else. There are some relationship types I aspire to. In one of the relationships I really admire, the blog author describes his relationship with his husband as like 1950's couple. While they are both men he (the author) takes on the 50's husband role, and his husband being like the 50's housewife. (This is a crude, abbreviated description of how he has described his relationship.) While I admire, and to some extent am jealous of their relationship, I know that my life with T would be different. I am pretty manly guy and I am not really "housewife" material. It's just not in my personality, right? T was over the other night. He came to my house after work and we planned to go out for dinner. There were some pretty strong storms in the area and as we left the house it started raining so hard, it was very difficult to see the road. We turned back to my house and I made some dinner for us. I will not tell you what I made so as not to embarrass myself but T pretended to like it. After dinner we would shower and then snuggle in bed and watch a little TV. "Why don't you go ahead and get in the shower. I'll clean up down here and meet you there." I told him. He agreed, kissed me and headed up stairs. I cleared the table and as I loaded the dishwasher I realized I was smiling and humming to myself. T would have been happy to help me, but I was happier to send him upstairs and do it myself. Maybe there is some 1950's housewife in me after all.
I am gay man in his 40's who was married for 18 years to a straight woman, who is still my very best friend. We have 4 children together. She is now remarried and we still want to be supportive of each other and make a stable family for our kids.
Cast of Characters
Jim: That's me
K: The wonderful woman I married in 1993. We divorced in November 2011, and she is still my best friend.
T: My ex-boyfriend. We were together from 2008 to 2013. He is still an important person in my life.
AJ: K's new husband. They got married December 2011.
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