Sunday, July 13, 2014

The Chef Is Out

I am not going to get into the long story as to why it did not work out, but it didn’t.  The sad part is that he was VERY into me.  He really wanted to be with me and I believe he could really see a future for us together.  I was not on the same page.

I told him I didn't think we were compatible.  He didn't agree.  He thought we just needed to get to know each other better.  I was frustrated that sometimes we seemed good together and then just minutes later, we were arguing about something.  Or something I said upset him.

We even took a weekend away together.  I thought that would help.  It made it worse.  The 5 hour drive back from that trip was very uncomfortable.

When he finally got the hint that I didn't want to go any further with him, he became very upset.  He told me the time we had together was a waste of his life (3 months) and then said, “Thanks for being so fake!”

That stung a more than little, but that’s where i cut it off.  I stopped responding to his messages.

Yesterday he reached out and apologized for saying what he said.  He informed me that he was taking a transfer with his company to another of their properties in California.  He asked me to meet him to this afternoon for coffee, one last time.  He is leaving in September.

I have been thinking over the past few weeks about why this did not work out with him.  I thought he was physically attractive.  He was nice to me and went out of this way to make time to see me.  He bought me a case of my favorite British hard cider that is not easy to get here in the states.  He had a good job, a stable lifestyle, and no more drama than anyone else.  He wanted to same things out of the relationship that I did.  What’s more he wanted them with me.  I should jumped at this.  I should bent over backwards to keep him.  

But I didn't.  Why?  

I don’t think I have to look far for the answer.


Sunne said...

Oh are a couple of virtual hugs.
It's rare that the rebound guy is the one. And actually, sometimes it just doesn't fit, even if all circumstances indicate it should.

And be honest - are you really even available emotionally?

Well, you tried and no need for him to get snippy.

Give yourself some time.

RB said...

Sunne is asking the right question: Are you emotionally available? Maybe you are subconsciously sabotaging relationships because of your recent history?

If you could find the right guy you would forget about you know who. Maybe the next one will make that happen.

I would meet him for coffee. Be apologetic. Obviously he still really likes you and has hope....he wouldn't ask for another meeting if he didn't. At least try to keep him as a friend.

jim said...

I met the Chef today for lunch. I was not apologetic, but I was friendy. I think I may be able to salvage a friendship from this, but nothing more than that.