I can't decide with metaphor to use. Stuck in a rut or stuck in the spin cycle. Either way I feel like I am stuck. I am not doing much beside working, hanging out with my kids, and sleeping. I am not making much progress on my search for love. I want to write about it more often. I need to get back to that. T and I are still in contact. We talk once or twice a week and text daily. We have worked ourselves into a good place... at least as it relates to each other. He has been working a lot so it has been difficult for me to see him in person. I have not been actively working my dating profile. I did hear from a guy in neighboring state. He seemed like a nice guy. The more I talked to him, however, the more I got the feeling he was looking to relocate to my city and needed a place to stay. No thank you. I also started talking to another guy. He is a nice guy and while I could be friends with him, he is not someone I want to date. I have been talking to the Chef. I had coffee with him the other day and we text most every day. I am not getting involved with him. Just talking. I spend too much time at K's house with the kids. I know I do it, but honestly I have nothing better to do with my time. I figure if I have nothing better to do, I may as well keep working on my relationship with my kids. I know it's not healthy for me. I know that I am not getting any younger. I know I need to do more things for myself. I feel like I am so busy. I feel like I am running and running all the time. I feel like I don't have time for myself. I know that I could make it if I wanted to. But for now, I'm stuck in my rut.
I am gay man in his 40's who was married for 18 years to a straight woman, who is still my very best friend. We have 4 children together. She is now remarried and we still want to be supportive of each other and make a stable family for our kids.
Cast of Characters
Jim: That's me
K: The wonderful woman I married in 1993. We divorced in November 2011, and she is still my best friend.
T: My ex-boyfriend. We were together from 2008 to 2013. He is still an important person in my life.
AJ: K's new husband. They got married December 2011.
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