As I was reading my new blogger friend Vinny's blog, it became clear that he and his partner Craig, have a Dominant/submissive kind of relationship. There is one post that describes an intimate session where Craig is handcuffed in an uncomfortable position and Vinny is doing his thing while pulling Craig's hair. Craig seems to enjoy being manhandles and Vinny likes to do it.
Reading a little more, it is clear these 2 guys are completely in love with each other. Based on that description of that session, I made assumptions about their relationship and the dynamic between them. Vinny has been kind enough to talk to me about it at length, revealing many details that are both personal and sensitive. I will not get into the details here, but suffice it to say, that he is giving me quite an education. Both about the hardcore DOM/sub culture in general and the very personal relationship between these 2 guys.
To further my education he told me about a website I could check out. It's kind of like a ManHunt for fetishes. So I went to check it out.
As part of their free tour, I was able to search within my state for people online now. I was not able to open any profiles or read them unless I created an online account. The header page assured me it was free and only take 60 seconds. They were right.
So I created an account and filled in the minimum amount of information so I could get to what I wanted to see. It made me put of a picture so I found one of T in his doctor outfit and said I want to make a house call and give someone a rectal exam... (just kidding T :) )
But seriously. In the name of research, I poked around the profiles for Charlotte There were not that many. Just a couple of pages worth. What I found scared me. There were people into all kinds of thing and I did not think this was the kind of thing I wanted to get involved with. (Even if I was not already in a committed relationship.)
I was just about to close it down when one of the profile pictures caught my eye. It was familiar. I looked again. I clicked on the profile.
It was someone I knew. It was someone I know to be "straight" and married. I think it is highly unlikely that his wife knows he is here looking around, but there he is. He posted the same picture on this fetish site that he uses on his Facebook profile. He was looking for someone to do some very painful sounding things to his ass. I am not going to list them here. It's not that I find it offensive, per se. It's just I have tried to kept this blog in a condition suitable so mother can read it (and she does) so I will keep it that way for now.
Anyway, logged out of the site and closed my browser. It is unlikely I will ever go back.
Now, I am not completely sure what to do with this bit of information I have. I have no desire to ruin this guys family. Maybe I should reach out to him privately and let him know he should be more careful. Maybe I should do nothing and mind my own business.
I am gay man in his 40's who was married for 18 years to a straight woman, who is still my very best friend. We have 4 children together. She is now remarried and we still want to be supportive of each other and make a stable family for our kids.
Cast of Characters
Jim: That's me
K: The wonderful woman I married in 1993. We divorced in November 2011, and she is still my best friend.
T: My ex-boyfriend. We were together from 2008 to 2013. He is still an important person in my life.
AJ: K's new husband. They got married December 2011.
Most of the images used in my blog I found floating around the Internet. I believe, in good faith, that they are either public domain, or my non-commercial use falls under fair use guidelines. If, however, you are the are the copyright owner of any image and wish me to remove it, please contact me and I will do so as quickly as possible