Last night T and I went out for dinner. I had to work all weekend, so it was nice to have a few minutes to see him. I am not bothered by it, but when we go out I often wonder if the people around us can tell we are a couple. A gay couple. T always says, of course they know. A white guy and an Asian guy together can only be a gay couple. Generally, I am an observer of people. I watch people as they pass me. I look at their eyes, their facial expressions and changes in them as I approach or pass. Last night I was watching at dinner. After the people at the table next to us (behind T, I was facing it) left, a kid came to clear the table. He was an Asian kid about 19-ish, and he glanced over at me as he was clearing the table. I met his eyes and he looked away. A few seconds later, he looked at me again. This time his expression was slightly different, decidedly negative. He only looked of for a second, finished his work and left. "I think that guy thinks were, gay." I said. T chuckled at me, "I think everyone in this place think's we're gay." He was probably right, but that kid didn't approve. After dinner, he asked me if I wanted to go for ice cream. Of course I did. Ice cream is once of my real weaknesses. So we drove to a local ice cream shop. It was empty except for 2 older ladies who were chatting over their ice cream. T and I sampled a few flavors, ordered and took our treats to go. As we walked out, one of the ladies looked up at me. I could tell she thought we were gay too. Her look, however, was not disapproving. Simply a casual acknowledgement as I passed by. Once we got outside, I told T, "I think those ladies think we're gay." He looked at me, but didn't say anything. Then it hit me. Straight guys don't go out together for ice cream!!! We laughed all the way back to the car.
I am gay man in his 40's who was married for 18 years to a straight woman, who is still my very best friend. We have 4 children together. She is now remarried and we still want to be supportive of each other and make a stable family for our kids.
Cast of Characters
Jim: That's me
K: The wonderful woman I married in 1993. We divorced in November 2011, and she is still my best friend.
T: My ex-boyfriend. We were together from 2008 to 2013. He is still an important person in my life.
AJ: K's new husband. They got married December 2011.
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