Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Rob, from Below the Radar, asked a good question about my last post:
"OMG, Those people think we're gay!!! Who the fuck cares what they think?"
Every time I comment on a comment, I preface it with, "I don't usually comment on comments, but I'm going to on this one." So, here goes.
When T and I go out, I give some thought to how we act together and how we are perceived by the people around us. I think about it on a couple levels.
Survival is one. We live in the buckle of the Bible Belt and walking around holding hands could get us both killed. Now, this is not something I think about a lot, but if I am being honest, it is a consideration.
Putting that to the side, when I think others have identified us as a gay couple, I am not stressed about it. On the contrary, I think it's a good thing. I have not been out very long, relatively speaking. On some levels, being an out gay man is still something of a novelty for me. It's still new and fresh. When think that someone know who I really am, and I don't sense a negative change in their behavior, it really does give me a lift. It makes me... well ... just a little bit happier.
If I get a negative reaction, like I did from the kid clearing the table at the restaurant, I note it, but I don't dwell on it. It does not make me feel badly. Not even a little bit. Probably because I have trained myself, over the years in the closet, to assume everyone will react negatively, so when they do, it is really of no consequence.
So, who the fuck cares what other people think?
Unless what they think makes me just a little bit happier.
Posted by jim at 5:30 PM