I was talking to T last night. He is worried about my well being. He asked me if I wanted him to come a visit me on Wednesday and stay the night. My answer to that question is always the same. "Of course. I always want you to come." "What would you like to do?" he asked. "I don't know. Anything is fine." I said. "I guess I need to see what K's work or school schedule is like." "When she is done with school in December, it should be better, right?" He asked. "I don't know that either." I replied. "It might be worse. She might work nights because it pays better." "She will have to work it out with you." "HA!" I chuckled. "It does not work that way. She works the hours she wants to and I adapt. I get whatever shit is left over. That's just how it works." Then I thought about that for a moment. "Damn it! It's just one more person who fucking puts me at the back of the line. I always get the scraps."
Is it so much to ask to have someone in my life who puts me first? Where I am the first person they ask before they do something, rather than the last person? Why can't I have that? Why is that soooo hard. I don't think this is helping my feelings of depression at all. Maybe I need to get a dog.
I am gay man in his 40's who was married for 18 years to a straight woman, who is still my very best friend. We have 4 children together. She is now remarried and we still want to be supportive of each other and make a stable family for our kids.
Cast of Characters
Jim: That's me
K: The wonderful woman I married in 1993. We divorced in November 2011, and she is still my best friend.
T: My ex-boyfriend. We were together from 2008 to 2013. He is still an important person in my life.
AJ: K's new husband. They got married December 2011.
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