I'm a gay man who married his best friend and started a family. Now I'm divorced and still trying to come to terms with who I am and what I want in life.
Last night I was getting my daughter ready for bed. She had just gotten out of the shower and I was toweling her hair dry when the phone rang. It was T.
Me: Hello? T: I just wanted to call and tell you I love you. Me: I love you too. Let me finish here and I'll call you back. T: OK. Talk to you later.
After I hung up the phone, my daughter asked me who was calling. I told her it was T.
"How come you told him 'I love you'?" she asked. "Well, T is very special to me." I answered. (she is 7) "I've heard a boy tell a girl 'I love you' or a girl tell a boy, but never a boy tell a boy." She continued.
Without getting into too much detail with her, I told her that sometimes boys like other boys and girls like other girls and that's OK. She seemed to accept that answer and went on to the next thing,
Almost a year ago, K and I sat down the 3 boys and we told them I am gay and T is my boyfriend. We did not tell my daughter because we figured she was too young. But we always said if she asked questions we would tell her the truth.
Some wise person once told me that "discrimination and hatred has to be taught" and he advised that I tell my kids I am gay as early as I could (in age-appropriate language and structure). I think he was right and I think your daughter helped to prove it.
How Awesome, I can so relate, since coming out a couple years ago to my now 14 year old daughter (she love's to chat about boyfriends) - its so great to see so much acceptance these days & it starts just the way you got to share your love for T with your daughter & never more should it be an issue, your daughter will grow up with this as normal.
yeah, you did the right thing here :) - you'll always be their father, no matter what happens, and they will always love you. xxx well done, brave fella!
I am gay man in his 40's who was married for 18 years to a straight woman, who is still my very best friend. We have 4 children together. She is now remarried and we still want to be supportive of each other and make a stable family for our kids.
Cast of Characters
Jim: That's me
K: The wonderful woman I married in 1993. We divorced in November 2011, and she is still my best friend.
T: My ex-boyfriend. We were together from 2008 to 2013. He is still an important person in my life.
AJ: K's new husband. They got married December 2011.
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7 comments:
Some wise person once told me that "discrimination and hatred has to be taught" and he advised that I tell my kids I am gay as early as I could (in age-appropriate language and structure). I think he was right and I think your daughter helped to prove it.
I'm so glad for you (and T).
I like this so much!!!!! Great for you! And your daughter.
How Awesome, I can so relate, since coming out a couple years ago to my now 14 year old daughter (she love's to chat about boyfriends) - its so great to see so much acceptance these days & it starts just the way you got to share your love for T with your daughter & never more should it be an issue, your daughter will grow up with this as normal.
Aw! So cute!!
*hugs* :)
yeah, you did the right thing here :) - you'll always be their father, no matter what happens, and they will always love you. xxx well done, brave fella!
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