Saturday, September 25, 2010

Good, Until...

I had a crazy day.   I had a bunch of errands to run this morning.  I had an event to attend with my oldest son and because K was working, I had to bring the little kids with me too.

Once that was done, I went to meet R for dinner.  (Remember that R is the friend of T's sister that they all think is gay, but he says he is straight.)

I met him at a book store at a local mall.  When we walked across the parking lot to a Mexican restaurant.  It was a good time.  We had some good conversations. We took our time eating and even split a desert.

In the course of conversation he asked how I knew T's family, so I told him that T and I met online and were dating.  He did not react except to say that he had not known that before.  I told him about how I came out to my self and others.  I told him how K and I are still best friends and we don't (generally) fight about anything.  How the kids were well adjusted, but I was not yet out to the kids.

When I told him about how I was in denial to myself for a long time, he asked, "Does that happen to many guys?"  I was not exactly prepared for that, but I told him that it seemed to happen to a lot of married or formerly married guys who write blogs.  

Of the time we spent together only about 20% was talking about me being gay or anything related to gay.  The rest was talking about his business, where we went to school, how neither of us were using the degrees we earned in college and other stuff.

When dinner was over, we started to walk back toward the mall.  It was too early to go home, so I was going to hang out at the book store for a while.  I did not know what R was going to do.  Before I got the chance to ask him, it started to rain on us.  Not a little drizzle, but the kind of downpour you might get on a summer afternoon with a passing thunderstorm.  We were in the open, so I'm glad there was no lightening & thunder.  By the time we got to the mall we were both soaking wet and decided that going home was the best idea.

We said good-bye with a quick hug and walked to our respective cars.  Once I get to my car, started it, cleaned my glasses I took out my phone and sent T a text message.

"Had a good time. Going back to his place for sex"


"Kidding.  On my way home"

I thought T would get a kick out of it, but I didn't hear back from him.  I checked my phone.  SHIT!!!!!

I had not sent the messages to T.  I sent them to R.  SHIT!!!!

Now I feel like a fool.  I know that he is already sensitive that people think he is gay.  I was not going to add to that.  I did not make any suggestions or comments that suggested I thought he was anything but straight.  Now this.  I also did not want him to think that I invited him out for any reason other than just to get to know him better, as a friend.

I tried to call him, but he did not answer.  I sent him a message telling him I felt bad and I hoped he did not take my joke the wrong way.   He responded that it was OK and he thought it was funny.  I don't know him well enough to know if that is true of not.

Anyway, if he really took it as funny, then I may have made a new friend tonight.  If he, didn't, then it was the shortest friendship ever.

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