Friday, September 3, 2010

The Sudden Slow Motion Divorce

I called my mother the other day. She is on vacation in Maine where a lot of my extended family lives. As we talked, she told met that she has not mentioned my current situation to anyone there. My mother is comfortable with what is going on, so it not like she is ashamed of me. While we have told the kids K and I are divorcing, we have not yet told them I am gay.  My mon does not was someone accidently letting that slip of Facebook or somewhere else before K and I have had a chance to tell them first.  Besides it does not really impact anyong there so why bring it up.

When the relatives ask about she lshe tells them that I am fine, which really is the truth.

It's probably a prudent thing to do, but I could not help think about how people will react when they do find out. Not that I worry they will react negatively but it may be a lot to take in all at once. To go from the perfect marriage to what we have today is a huge change. For me it will have taken 2+ years to make the change.  Longer if you consider ythe whole of the time I struggled with being gay.  For anyone hearing the story for the first time it seems like a lot of stuff happening at the same time.

So from my perspective, it is my slow motion divorce. For other friends and family it will be perfect marriage one day and meet-my-boyfriend the next.

And if I get my way, that day will come sooner rather than later.  Last summer I took my kids to my parents camp in Maine.  It is one of favorite places in the whole world.  I really, REALLY want to bring T with me.  I want to share with him the magic of the woods that I experianced when I was growing up. I really think that would be an experiance that would draw us closer.   


Thomas (Tom) Rimington said...

Hey Jim... I just left T a comment... He writes beautifully...

Where in NC are you?


jim said...

He really does. I'm glad he is writing again.

I'm near Charlotte.

Cubby said...

Don't be surprised if the other adult members of your extended family react very positively when then find out you are divorcing and coming out. They may say things like, "tell us something we don't know", or "it's about time". That's what happened to me. It seems even when you are in the closet you are not really in the closet.