Sunday, September 12, 2010

Holding Hands & the McDonald's PlayLand

Friday night my older kids slept at a friend's house.  K was out with AJ and I was home alone with me younger 2 kids. T was not able to go out and I was feeling lonely.

So I lit a campfire in the back yard. Something about watching a fire burn is soothing to me. The kids were playing Wii so I was mostly by myself. Then K called.  She wanted to know if it was ok for her to come back to the house with AJ and hang out by the fire. Of course I told her, that would be fine.  I set up some additional chairs around the fire and put on another log.    

About 10 min later they arrived and came outside.  AJ is retired from the Navy where he served many years on submarines. He told some stories of drunken mischief (he does not drink at all anymore). We had a good time and it did not feel uncomfortable for me and he seemed at ease too.

He stayed about an hour and during most of that time they were holding hands. It was the one hand on top of the other type not the interlocking fingers type.  I was surprised how that made me feel. I was not uncomfortable. In fact, I felt happy. For a long time K thought her future looked bleak. She thought she would be alone as I went off to my gay wonderland.  Now she is not so worried about that.  In a way, that take some responsiblilty from me.     

The next morning K had to work (Saturday), so I was alone with my younger kids.  I decided to take the to McDonald's for breakfast. They like the hotcakes and the one closest to my house has a brand new Playland.

So off we went. Got the food, poured drinks, and picked a table outside. The kids made a bee line for the Playland structure leaving me with the food (getting cold).  K would have made them eat first, but I let them play.  As I sat there I watched the other kids play. I watched the parents of the other kids too. There was a mom by herself. There was a straight couple sitting close together.  There was another straight couple that look so uncomfortable together, they must have been there under a court order.  As I watched I became aware I was there alone with my kids. Then I thought not of K and our lost marriage, but of T.

I was thinking, well fantasizing really, about us together taking the kids to a playground or a park. Like a couple. Like a family. Not a replacement for K, but in addition to, at least from the kids point of view.  I know T would like that too. 


T said...

As long as I don't have to go through those tunnels...:)

Anonymous said...

A question - if the roles had been reversed & you'd wanted to bring T over instead of hanging out with AJ - how would that of played out on K's acceptability meter ?

jim said...

A year ago, it would have been a problem for her, but now, I am pretty confidant it would be OK.