Thursday, March 8, 2012

Online Dating #24

His profile said he was a computer programmer for one of the banks in town.  The picture on his profile showed him to be smartly dressed, very lean and seemed to be very at ease and confidant.  I thought that maybe this time, he will be someone I will click with.  So I wrote to him.  I told him a little about myself and inviting him to check out my profile.

Then I waited.  

I really hate the waiting game.  You are reaching out your hand and, especially for gay guys my age, it's only a matter of time before it gets slapped away.

There was no immediate response.  As I felt my ego deflating, I just went to bed. He's probably not interested in a guy like me anyway.

The next morning I got up and the first thing I did was check my e-mail.  Even though I was willing myself not to get my hopes up, I did anyway. 

He responded.  My heart jumped and my spirits lifted even more when I opened the message and found he has written a lot.  He told me more about himself.  He seemed really nice and genuinely interested in knowing more about me.  Even though I knew it would make me late for work, I wrote back to him.  Briefly explained that I was coming out late in life, but reassuring him the situation with my ex-wife was drama free (don't want to scare him off).  I included a picture of myself that was not in my profile online.  Not a naked one, but just a little more suggestive.

At lunch, I checked my e-mail on my Blackberry from the cafe at the office.  He wrote back again.  Said he was working from home that day and he included another picture of himself.

WOW!!  I need to meet this guy in person.

So, before heading back to my desk, I type out a respond as fast and I can with my thumbs asking if we wanted to meet for a drink or maybe dinner.

I was excited as I clicked send.  Maybe this was the guy that could end my loneliness...  Maybe.

A few hours later he agreed to meet me. 

We set up the meeting for last night at a local bar, that had pretty good food too.

I arrived half an hour early and scanned the place.  There were no Asian guys there, so I was sure I had gotten there first.  I picked a table half was back from the door, but facing the door so I could see him when he walked in and waited.  

I pulled out my tablet so it would not appear that I was too eager.  I open a book on my Kindle app, but I never looked at it.  I kept looking at the door.  

A little while later an Asian man walked in and was looking around.  It must me him so I waved.  He walked over and introduced himself.  He looked good, but not as good as in the pictures.  They must have been taken some time ago.  I put that aside, after all looks are not everything.  

I so we started with small talk and he said he was working in his family's restaurant.   There is nothing wrong with that, but I was sure his profile said something about working as a computer programmer.  As dinner came and we talked more, it became clear to that we did not click.  I could not exactly put my finger on it, but something was not right.  I found that he was less and less interesting and I started thinking about chores I had to do at home.  What time was it?  

I think that he was less enamored with me too.  Maybe I was too old for him, or maybe too overweight.  Probably too something.

When the check came he put $20 on the table to cover his half of the bill.  I put the rest on my card.    We got up to leave together.  Once we were outside, I offered him my hand.  He gave me a quick hug and said he had a nice time.  I knew he was lying, but I told him I did too.  We each agreed to call the other in the next few days, but I think we both knew that was a lie too.  

He went his way.  I went mine.

Driving home I knew what the rest of my evening would be like.  Searching the online profiles for anyone new.  Anyone with kind eyes and who's profile indicated a willingness to date someone like me.
I don't have a lot of time to read blogs like I used to.  And I, sadly, do not have as much time to write.  Lately the blogs I have read are about gay men who are always looking, always searching for the perfect man, the best date, the most chemistry.

As I read them I reminded how lucky I am to have T.  Even though what we have is not perfect, we are in it together and that's what really counts.  The love we share is one of a kind.  Rather than searching for the perfect partner like a lot of guys would, I am (mostly) content to work with T to make the relationship I have as perfect as we can.  It will take time, but I really believe we will get there.


T said...

It will be perfect when you are willing to give me daily massages and...let's put down my new plants this weekend, to put the tulip bulbs down in the fall, the hang the Christmas lights on the roof, realize that I am always RIGHT! Yeah, that's it.

Nenne said...

What is perfect?

What makes a relationship perfect?

I gues yours is at least not missing one important component: Humor ;)

Just saying...I have a very long and happy relationship with my hubby...and guess what makes us perfect? That we love each other the way we are. Neither he wants to change me nor I want to change him...oh, I really would love if he would put his used dishes in the dishwasher and don't leave his shoes in the middle of the hallway...but are these important things? Probably as much as he would appreciate when I'd put the laundray away the moment it's done, not when I need the baskets again ;)

Yes - we all have our little quirks and as soon as you can accept them and relize that you have your own and don't give a sh**, then you are on the best way to a perfect relationsship....puh, I just got back on track, right?

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