Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Everythings Amazing & Nobodys Happy

I went to K's today after work.  I took my oldest son to Game Stop to get "Mass Effect 3"  He pre-purchased the game back in December as a Christmas present.  I stopped at the grocery store for a few items K asked me to get so she could make dinner.

I hung out there for dinner and then long enough to put the kids to bed.  As she was cooking dinner she was showed me a video (here) that she is using in the youth classes at her church job.  It's about a 4 min video.  It's kind of funny and worth watching.  In a nut shell, it's about the people have all kinds of good things yet they bitch and complain about everything.

I made a comment that I thought she could learn from that.  Her life is pretty good.  "Yeah, right" she said.  **Sigh**

When dinner was over and the kids were in bed, her and AJ sat down with me at the table.  AJ just for a new cell phone so he was preoccupied with that.  K was looking up cruises for the family to take in May of 2013 when she finishes school.  Her plan is to take a huge family vacation with her and AJ, his daughter, my kids and me.  She even wants T to come.  We would need 2 or 3 cabins depending on the ship.  Sound's like a lot of fun, right?  Maybe, maybe not.  She was looking at 8 day cruises.  I suggested since the kids had never been on a cruise before, maybe a shorter one would be good for the first time.  Maybe a 4 day cruise.

That did not go well.  She looked at me like I had just told her that AJ and I were having an affair.  She told me that when she had to get off the boat after the 4th day she would be "furious".   The she went on and on about how a 4 day trip on a luxary cruise ship was completely unacceptable.

I was thinking that she should re-watch that video.  I stopped talking, and when she was done, I suggested that I did realize that it was only her opinion that mattered.  She didn't like that either.  I guess control freaks don't like to be called control freaks.

I started to think that maybe I should just let her go on the trip by herself with the kids.  I know that a lot of you will think that is the best.  I'm sure that T would think that is best.  It might be, but then I think about the kids.  

I would hate to miss that experience with them.  I would want to be part of their memories of their first cruise. Also, let's face it, as they get older, there will be fewer and fewer family vacations.  Also, if the kids are there and I am not, K will turn into a train wreck and no one will have fun.  At least if I am there, I can insulate the kids and they will have a good time with me.


Nenne said...

Relax - a crusie ship has lots to offer for the kids so they will enjoy it. You'll porbably won't see them - just for the meals.
I think you all do great in accepting each other - it doesn't matter that sometimes you just don't agree ;)
I think the idea is a very nice one, especially because you involve T, too. You wife shows acceptance, something that should go without saying (you do the same) but let's be realistic, isn't? So be happy about that - imagine her relaxed because she gets pamperd on the cruise...any you and T having some quality time. ;)

TwoLives said...

I've been on 7 cruises on 3 different lines. The longest was 8 days, the shortest 3. The kids have been on two of them.

The cruise lines know that parents want their kids to come but they also want to enjoy an adult vacation. Therefore they employ quite a few full-time 20-somethings who are responsible for keeping the kids onboard happy, busy and entertained. Your kids will have a blast, even on an 8 day cruise. That might seem like a long trip but the port stops break the time up. Eight days will fly by.

Also, every night on every cruise I've been on there's been a GLBT social hour. My last two cruises were off-season so these social hours were sparsely attended but at least they would give you and T a chance to meet and socialize with other gay and lesbian couples. At a minimum it adds to the diversity of social options while you're onboard.

Personally, the only reason I would not go is if you have good reason to worry about conflict with K or AJ. There's nothing worse than paying for a vacation and not being able to enjoy it because too much togetherness causes friction.

Anonymous said...

Dude -- you need to get your own life.

You left your wife and kids to be a homo, so go do that. Don't hang out with your ex-wife and her new husband and be a pest.

jim said...

Mr. Anonymous can fuck himself.

Anonymous said...

If K and AJ didn't want Jim and T on the cruise, they wouldn't be planning it that way. It would be their call (and Jim and T's) to decide if all the togetherness would be too much.

Speaking as the wife of a 45 yr old man who outed himself to me 6 months ago and is now going through the hell of figuring out the best path for all of us, I think Jim has behaved with remarkable consideration for his ex-wife, her new husband, his children and his partner.

That said, it does seem poor T always has numerous household and gardening chores that need to be done that Jim could take care of instead of going on the cruise. :-)
Just kidding - go have fun on the cruise. Kids grow up way to fast and when they do, they have busy schedules which often preclude family vacations such as this.