My wedding anniversary is coming up. It's Saturday and I am not sure how to handle it.
Last year I bought K a card and when I gave it to her she said, "Really? What are we celebrating?". It hurt my feelings at first, but after I thought about it, I guess it made more sense. We were not really in a good place last year. I wonder if this year is different.
I get that we are no longer married, at least not from a practical perspective, and there may no longer be a point to celebrating. But on the other hand, I don't feel like I can just ignore the day. It has been important for 16 years. What happens on 17?
What do normal couples do? I guess most normal couples are not usually friendly after a divorce. But we are. So among the ones who are still friendly, do they still mark the anniversary date?
As I write this I am wondering if I am using this as another reason to hang on to a marriage that is dissolving. Since I still live there and we still do a lot of things as a family, I have been spared the trauma of moving out. Maybe I am using this in my mind to pretend things are still normal.
I am gay man in his 40's who was married for 18 years to a straight woman, who is still my very best friend. We have 4 children together. She is now remarried and we still want to be supportive of each other and make a stable family for our kids.
Cast of Characters
Jim: That's me
K: The wonderful woman I married in 1993. We divorced in November 2011, and she is still my best friend.
T: My ex-boyfriend. We were together from 2008 to 2013. He is still an important person in my life.
AJ: K's new husband. They got married December 2011.
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