Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Wedding Anniversary

My wedding anniversary is coming up. It's Saturday and I am not sure how to handle it.

 Last year I bought K a card and when I gave it to her she said, "Really? What are we celebrating?". It hurt my feelings at first, but after I thought about it, I guess it made more sense. We were not really in a good place last year. I wonder if this year is different.

 I get that we are no longer married, at least not from a practical perspective, and there may no longer be a point to celebrating. But on the other hand, I don't feel like I can just ignore the day. It has been important for 16 years. What happens on 17?

 What do normal couples do? I guess most normal couples are not usually friendly after a divorce. But we are. So among the ones who are still friendly, do they still mark the anniversary date?

 As I write this I am wondering if I am using this as another reason to hang on to a marriage that is dissolving. Since I still live there and we still do a lot of things as a family, I have been spared the trauma of moving out. Maybe I am using this in my mind to pretend things are still normal.

 Or, maybe I am just over thinking it.

1 comment:

TwoLives said...

You and K are definitely in an awkward status. She must have very mixed feelings about the upcoming day too.

Is there any chance you can talk about it in advance? Sort through the awkwardness and agree on how to handle it?

One option may be to change the day you celebrate. Instead of your wedding anniversary, maybe you should celebrate the day you first met? That would be worth celebrating, I'd think, because look at all the wonder things that you have shared together since that day, most especially those 4 great kids.