In my earlier post I was talking about expanding my circle of friends. I think I gave the impression that in the process, T WANTED me to find a man that I could fall for that would be able to be the partner that I dream about.
That is not the case.
What he has told me he believes that I will eventually be so frustrated with his limitations and my own loneliness, that I will seek out (and find) a replacement. Someone who will be able to live when me when I am ready. He is prepared for that day and thinks it will eventually come.
What I was trying to say about myself, is that my goal for expanding my circle of friends is about doing just that. Expanding my circle of friends. Now I do not have many friends and frequently feel isolated. Actually that has been my situation for years before I met T, but it was always tempered by the knowledge that K would always be there for me. As long as I had her, I was OK. I think if T could be my full time partner, I would so isolated.
So with K moving on with AJ combined with me not having the opportunity to see T as much as I want to, with a sprinkle of a lot of time alone I have a life that is hugely out of balance. Having an active social life will help me bring things back into balance.
It will be better for me.
It will be better for my kids.
I will be better for T and better for K.
Hell, I will probably even perform better at work.
What I am continuing, however, is my devotion to T and the relationship that we have built over the years. I am not stringing him along until something better comes along. I know that at the end of the day, we share the same goal. We just have a different opinion on how to reach it. Or if we can reach it.
I hope this clears up any confusion.
It's late and I'm going to bed.
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