As I have said before, there are two parts of my life I need to develop. My relationship with T and my relationship with myself. I need to establish a place for myself in the world. A place where I fit. A place besides my house where I feel comfortable. Where everybody knows my name.
When I talk about a "place" I am not necessarily talking about a physical location, but more of a mental place. Where I can have contact with other people. People who will accept me and where I can truly be myself.
At the moment, I do not have that really anywhere. Even in my own house. I said above I feel comfortable in my house, and that may not be exactly true. I might liken me in my house to a bird in a cage. The bird would much rather fly free, but he also knows that he is safe in there. Sometimes if you let a bird used to a cage out, he will get back inside as fast as he can. I am probably like that.
Of course, I feel accepted with T and I are alone. I also feel that way when I am out with him and his younger sisters. They know the nature of our relationship. They like me and they accept me exactly as I am. What's more, they accept the relationship T and I have. It is not the same when I am at his house. His elderly parents live with him and while they have accepted me, they either do not truly know about my relationship with T or they are in denial about it. While it may change over time, they do not really like the idea of T in a relationship with a man.
I cannot really blame them. They grew up in a different time and place and gay relationships just were not accepted. Add that to traditional Asian culture, mix in a heave dose of Catholic doctrine and I am probably lucky his mom does not chase me out of the house with a broom.
I would like to know more gay people but the more I think about it, I really want to meet other gay people with kids. I don't really care if the kids are the result of a former (or current) straight relationship or if a gay couple adopted kids. I wonder if I will have a lot in common with these people and it will be easier to build friendships.
That said, I don't think I want to limit myself to families. I really want to get to know all kinds of people. Since now I know very few, I don't want to be too choosy.