Over the past few posts I have talked about some stress and concerns I have felt recently. Now in the past day or two, I have come to realize that there is a calmness in my life. While it is not perfect. There are still things I want, I have taken the time to notice the calmness.
This week K was accepted into a local private college. She will be able to finish the degree that she put on hold when we had kids. The problem is this school is pretty expensive. In order to get the financial we would need to pay for it, she will have to be a single mom making only what you make when you work for a church. With that income, even without the kids, she should qualify for plenty of aid.
The problem is, we need to be divorced. While I have known for two years this was coming, six months ago, it would have caused me a lot of stress. I don't feel that now. I feel calm about it. I need to call a lawyer to help me with the paperwork. I did not get around to that this week, because I had a very busy week at the office.
Once I considered is a failure that I was unable to hold my marriage together. Now I see the happiness that she has with AJ and that her and I will continue to be best friends. While I miss T horribly when we are apart, I know what he loves me and I love him.
So while everything is not perfect, there is still a calmness. As a side note, I have noticed each of the past times I have written about "calmness" something blows up. Let's hope that trend does not hold out.
The past two nights I have been alone with the kids. Why? Because AJ's daughter has been out to state visiting relatives and K have been staying over there. I don't really mind, but today is my turn.
Sadly, I won't be spending the night with T, but I will be going to see him early this afternoon and I will have the whole evening with him. I am very excited.
I am gay man in his 40's who was married for 18 years to a straight woman, who is still my very best friend. We have 4 children together. She is now remarried and we still want to be supportive of each other and make a stable family for our kids.
Cast of Characters
Jim: That's me
K: The wonderful woman I married in 1993. We divorced in November 2011, and she is still my best friend.
T: My ex-boyfriend. We were together from 2008 to 2013. He is still an important person in my life.
AJ: K's new husband. They got married December 2011.
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