We are about 2 weeks away from when K and the kids will move out of my house and we were talking yesterday about scheduling. She is starting school full time to finally finish her nursing degree. I am joining a gay bowling league that meets on Mondays. She works at her church job on Wednesday nights. In the winter, her coaching season will start again, which will, have her practicing on Tuesday & Thursday nights, plus Saturday mornings. All in all there will be a lot of time that I will have to watching my kids.
I'm not complaining, mind you, I'm really not. In fact I welcome the time where I will be needed in the parenting capacity (NOT babysitting). As we talked I mentioned that with her and the kids moving out, I did not think that my schedule was going to change that much. It might be difficult for me as I persue my "new" life. She said she did not think so pointing out that AJ can help with the kids. In fact, on more that one occasion he has told her that he understood the implications of marrying a woman with kids. He expected he might have to look after them when K or I were not there from time to time.
Of course I am not planning on relinquishing my parenting duties to AJ or anyone else. I told K that I needed to be there for homework, bathtime, and maybe even some bedtimes. This is when K told me about AJ wanting to step up. Then we talked about who gets called what, will the kids call AJ dad or just AJ. How my kids should think about AJ's daughter a,ind other questions.
Then she asked me, "Are you afraid the kids will forget about you?"
"What? I'm not worried about... Well.... Maybe." I replied.
She responded that she did not think that was realistic.
Having no experience with this sort of thing, I find I worry about everything. As we get closer to the move I think I am worrying more. More than I should anyway.
Today I am there for everything. Every bathtime. Every illness. Every milestone. I'm there when the younger kids jump on my bed in the morning. Some of that will change. Not all of it, but a lot of it. I think this will be the hardest adjustment so far.
I am gay man in his 40's who was married for 18 years to a straight woman, who is still my very best friend. We have 4 children together. She is now remarried and we still want to be supportive of each other and make a stable family for our kids.
Cast of Characters
Jim: That's me
K: The wonderful woman I married in 1993. We divorced in November 2011, and she is still my best friend.
T: My ex-boyfriend. We were together from 2008 to 2013. He is still an important person in my life.
AJ: K's new husband. They got married December 2011.
Most of the images used in my blog I found floating around the Internet. I believe, in good faith, that they are either public domain, or my non-commercial use falls under fair use guidelines. If, however, you are the are the copyright owner of any image and wish me to remove it, please contact me and I will do so as quickly as possible