Monday, August 8, 2011

Talking About My Boyfriend


Yesterday I had dinner with K's parents, her sister and her 2 kids along with all 4 of of my kids. A couple of cool things happened. My mother in law asked if I was going to be OK with all the change that are happening. With K moving into her new house with AJ and me being alone in my old house. She asked about T and how he is and she even asked a little bit about him. I could tell she was a little uncomfortable asking, but not because of the gay thing. I think it's more from a culture that does not really talk about divorce in general. At the end of the conversations she said she wanted BOTH K and I to be happy. I thought that was sweet.

Then after dinner (which was awesome) as we were sitting around talking. K's sister, asked to see the bracelet that I wear. You remember, the one T got me for Christmas.



I handed it to her. She looked at it. She liked the breaded leather band and the weight if the stainless steel. She asked me where I got it. Everyone was looking at me. I proudly told them all that T got it for me for Christmas last year. It was even engraved in the inside. Of course the inside has his initials. She passed it to my father in law who passed on to my mother in law for her inspection. Each complimented the item, but that was not really what there were saying.

In their way they told me:
they accept not only that I am gay.
they are not mad a gay guy married their daughter.
they will accept T as part of the family

Why do I care what my soon to be former in laws think? It's a good question. At the end of the day, they are still K's family and K will always be the mother if my children which makes them part of my family.

For better or worse...

6 comments:

Buddy Bear said...

Yes, it is very important. It speaks to your character and integrity that they hold you in high regard. Congratulations!

Similarly, my mother-in-law holds me in high regard, as do all of my wife's family. It means a lot to me.

T said...

I hope they don't think I look like one of those Chinese butlers in the Old West movies...LOL...just kidding. I'll have to grow a pony tail first.

RB said...

Again, you are fortunate because often it does not work out this way. One div gay guy I know was telling me his in-laws hate him...they say he ruined their daughter's life.

My own family goes through the motions with the one gay person who is out. Polite to his face but disgusted behind his back.

I think if K hadn't so quickly fallen into the arms of someone else, and was the usual bitter scorned wife, your situation might be different right now.

This is good fortune that everything worked out so well.

JustAMike said...

My ex-mother-in-law and I have never really been that close. On the gay thing though, she was one of the first to confirm it's "normalness" (she's a nurse). In any case, I think the fact that my ex and her mother are not homophobic has made it a lot easier on the kids. Even though the women still blame me for ruining my wife's life, it's not gay bashing as much as it's Mike bashing.

JustAMike said...

PS: That is a very nice bracelet!

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