Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Coming and Going

I have been busy at work and bringing work home for the past few days.  While I am glad I have a job, and a good job, it's is taking a toll.

My situation is unchanged (anyone surprised?) but that is not to say there is not some movement.

K and I had a huge argument, well more like an outburst.  She was upset about something I did when one of the kids was misbehaving.  Among other things She did told me that she was going to have trouble with the kids when I was gone.

The next day as part of an apology for unloading on me, she said we needed to work out a plan for the kids she can do on her own and I can reinforce.

Later we were talking about T.  He is moving into a new house and having trouble with his Home Owners Association.  Anyway, as I was telling her about his situation she said, "You can tell him that you are available for the future."

She did not say any of it in anger, except the first one.  I know she still is angry, but she is not showing it much.  I also wonder if she is coming to accept who I am and no matter how much we both wish it was different, we can't change it.

On the other side, I am trying to figure out what is to become of me.  I am not thrilled about renting a room in someone else's house. I can't afford another house or even a full sized apartment.  With the money I have to spend it looks like I can afford to rent a really crappy house, a moderately crappy apartment, or a room in someone else's nicer house.  Renting a room should good, but I can't really "take the kids" for the weekend in a situation like that.  

More things to think about, but I think there are emotional changes happening, even if they are small ones.


Java said...

Sounds like progress to me. Growing pains. I think K will be so much stronger and feel better about herself after she gains true independence. It's hard work, but worth it. She's in my thoughts, as are you.

The Lion Queen said...

Is giving up your nice house, your wife, time with your kids worth it all?

I wonder whether in 6 months time, sitting alone in a rented room in someone else's house (with or without T) you may come to regret some of your decisions.