So things are going on the way they have been. We are moving, very slowly. I have been looking at small apartments for me or large farms for all of us.
I talked last night to Emerging Identity. He helps me keep my perspective. Sometimes it's like talking to the therapist with out the co-pay. :-) Seriously, one of the things he reminded me is that K and I should not make a move before we are ready. I think that's good advice.
I have been trying to think about my own identity. I have been starting to wonder if I know who the real me is.
K said something to me the other day about me becoming a gay stereotype. I told her I was not that kind of gay. She said, "not yet." She might have only been half kidding, after all, before 2 years ago, I always considered myself bi-sexual.
I have been hiding my true self from everyone, including myself, who am I really? As I reflect, I am wondering how much of my personality is nothing more than a well practiced lie. After all for the 20 years I was in my "bi-sexual" phase, I really believed that's who I was.
I really don't feel like I have changed much over these past couple of years aside from he fact I am not longer scared of people finding out I'm gay. Now I am just scared of finding out what living as a gay man is all about.
One step at a time.