Sunday, February 14, 2010


So it's Valentine's Day and T and I are broken up.

I have not written about this in a while, but T's family situation will not allow him to not allow him to be the partner I want and need.  While I am not ready for that now, one day I will be.  My feeling for him are strong enough that he could have been the guy for me, but I guess it was not to be.

I told him today, what we both already knew.  We had discussed it many times so it was not a surprise to him either.  He lives with his closeted lesbian sister, his elderly parents and another sister (straight).  He will never leave his sister and more he will not live with me, ever.  He thinks that if I really loved him I would stay with him no matter what, even if that means living alone while he lives with his sister.  He does not really want a partner, just a boyfriend.

I told him many times I never wanted to take him away from his family, and I was open to many different options.  All I as is that his face be the last one I see before bed and the first one I see in the morning.  Everything else was negotiable.  That was going to be too much to ask.

He said we can still be friends, and I hope we can.  For the last 2 years he has been a good friend to me, being there for me when no one else was.

I love him very much and I feel very sad.


The Lion Queen said...

Some big, big decisions. I'm sure you'll find your way through all of this in the end and will be surprised at how well you come out of it in the long run.

Wishing you nothing but good luck and happiness.


Java said...

Sad. Hard. But also hopeful.

manxxman said...

It's not like this hasn't been on the cards for a long time now, but now that the decision has been made I hope that you and T can continue to be close friends. Sometimes friends are easier to deal with and can be far more helpful.....seeing through mists that often cloud our decisions and giving good advise.