After a long stagnant time, I have made some significant progress in my head.
I sat down with K and her therapist (shrink) Friday and I learned a bunch of things. Some of them I knew intellectually, but could not really process until now.
1. There is a payoff for me when I am stuck wallowing in my guilt. While I am feeling guilty I don't have to face the change that is coming.
2. K is ready to move on, but she is not in a big hurry to officially divorce or for me to move out. She also is convinced that everything is going to work out ok.
3. K believes the feelings I interpret at fear is actually anticipation Anticipation of living my "true life".
4. K dislikes T much more than I thought. This is a problem I have to deal with
5. I have to come to terms with the relationship I want and the type of relationship T is willing to have. Not matter how I feel about him, the likelihood is we are in a terminal relationship.
Wednesday Morning Male Beauty - Pt 1
9 minutes ago