Friday, November 26, 2010

Still Thankful

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving.  I had a pretty good one but it was different than usual.

This is the first Thanksgiving in almost 20 years that I have eaten turkey without K.  She is on her cruise with AJ (and others).  She has called a couple of time when the ship is in port to talk to me and the kids.  She seems to be having a good time expect that AJ's daughter is getting on her nerves like a 15 year old girl will do.

When she called yesterday (on Thanksgiving) I talked to her after we passed the phone around to all the kids.  I was clear she was crying.  From her perspective she was all alone on the holiday.  AJ had his daughter.  The other couple she is traveling with had their children with them.  Her family was home and she was 2000 miles away (in Panama actually)

I did not cry, but I do miss her.

Back in my house having my mother here really saved my bacon, or more accurately, my turkey. I am sure that if I was to be doing the cooking myself it would suck pretty bad.  I also got a visit from my mom's brother and his wife.  I like this aunt & uncle.  I have not seen them in many years.  In fact I think the last time I saw them, my daughter was not born yet.

With all the people at the table I had a house full of love and family.  I was grateful for that.  Especially since many gay men are estranged from their families.  But there was one other notable absence that only I noticed...

T was not there.  Not that I was expecting him, I knew couldn't come, but for me there was a empty place at my table.  It's not like I was sad about it.  I mean I was happy to have my family with me and I was happy to have T's love.  I just wished he was with me, or I was with him.

For all my moaning and groaning, I am pretty happy and I know that I am blessed.  I try not to lose sight of the blessings I have, as I work to achieve the life that I want.

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