Thursday, August 6, 2009

Feeling safe and guilty at the same time.

I love this picture.

A while ago I met T at his office. He owns his own business, which was closed for the day and we were there alone. He had stepped into the next room to take a call and I sat in his office chair, leaned back and put my feet up on his desk. The chair was comfy and I closed my eyes. Maybe 10 or 15 min passed (I might have dozed off) when I felt his arms encircle me from behind. He had pulled up a chair behind me and was holding me much like the guys in the picture. I can't really describe the way I felt, except to say I felt safe and secure in his embrace. We stayed like that for a long while, as he told me about his day and I told him about mine.

After a while I started to think about K and how if I was a "normal" guy I would be happy with her holding me. I know I have to let go of this, but it's really REALLY hard.

T and I are planning a trip over Labor Day weekend. We will be gone at least one night, maybe 2. I am really looking forward to that. Hopefully I will be able to clear my mind and find some peace.

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