Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Move out? WHAT??

A comment on a post I wrote has made me think about some stuff.
It's not going to be easy for you, the actual moving out, but in my experience you can't actually move forward until you do move out.
I have to move out? Just thinking about it makes my chest feel tight and my mind starts to swirl. I have been with K for a long time. I have always been there with her. I have always been there with the kids. Every day, except for temporary absences like business trips and such. How can I live somewhere else?

K made a comment the other night about the things that would make her life less stressful. I don't remember the exact words, but it definitely involved my absence from the home.

I can't imagine living by myself. The last time I lived alone, I was in college. My senior year I had a single room. Before that, I was living with my parents (which I guess is not really alone). That was a long time ago. {sigh} How do you adapt to that. How do the kids adapt? I can see that if I lived on my own I would be be home all the time. K has a job that is mostly nights and weekends so I would be needed there (not babysitting, parenting). I would also be there a lot, because I like her, I like the kids and I like being around them.

I suppose that this is something I will have to deal with sooner or later, but I think that is something I want to push down the road some. I probably shouldn't, but I'm gonna.


manxxman said...

Don' can't grow and neither can K if you don't make changes. Your nose won't fall off, you won't go'll be just fine. In fact when I finally moved out I realized I had used the "home" as an anchor and in reality it was drowning me. Don't put this'll just be putting your life off.

Bear Me Out said...

I can't stand it when manxxman is right! but he usually is right on target.

It IS tough. But as long as you are "asking permission" to live in your own house, you'll never grow into yourself.