Friday, August 28, 2009

Sixteen years ago today K and got married.

I have had a good life with her over the years. What is in store for me now? For her? For our kids?

I'm not sure this is a happy anniversary. It's a little uncomfortable. I am trying to take her out on tomorrow night. It's a day late, but she works in the evening during the week. If we can find a babysitter, we will be all set.

We always have a good time when we are together (which is why all this is so frakking difficult) and it should be fun. I have to find something for us to do.

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This morning I had a melt down. Despair, loneliness, sadness, fear, and guilt combined with the stress I have at work and the fact that my car is giving me difficulties, all came crashing down around my head. I had a routine doctor's appt. this morning, and I suppose it taking 3 stabs for them to dram blood did not help.

I am not the kind of guy who is very emotional, but this morning I came unglued. I could not stop sobbing. At the same time K and I were exchanging text messages so she knew how I was feeling. She said we would work it all out together, but sometimes I don't see how.



3 comments:

manxxman said...

Here's a hug......I think you need it.

jim said...

Thanks. I really do.

Bear Me Out said...

Honey, you need some serious hugging. And you WILL be able to work it out. But we do have to live through.

Don't fault yourself for having a meltdown.