Thursday, November 5, 2009


So is this me?

Am I a shipwreck?


We all have choices to make, and there are consequences for each of them.

I did not choose to be gay. (Still the stupidest thing I have ever heard anyone say). I did not choose to fall in love with T, that just sort of happened.

I am choosing to move out of my house. Is that really a choice?

I suppose I can choose to go back in the closet and pretend I am not gay. I can try to forget about the love I feel for T and chooses to walk away from him. That will make everything better, right?

Probably not. K never forgets anything. She clearly remembers ever transgression I have ever committed in the 18 years I have known her.

I doubt she will forget I am gay. Even if I tried to pretend and she agreed to try again, I know that every time she saw me "aroused" she would wonder if it was her or the guy on the cover Men's Health making me that way. She's not stupid.


manxxman said...

Moving out (and on) is not a choice but it is a direction. And right now you need a little "direction" in your life.

Men's Health huh......I never thought of that one while I was married.....

Bear Me Out said...

Painful as it is, you are taking a step toward the Light and the Truth. It will not be at once, but it will be shown to you that you are doing the right thing.