Thursday, November 5, 2009

Shipwreked

So is this me?

Am I a shipwreck?

Maybe.

We all have choices to make, and there are consequences for each of them.

I did not choose to be gay. (Still the stupidest thing I have ever heard anyone say). I did not choose to fall in love with T, that just sort of happened.

I am choosing to move out of my house. Is that really a choice?

I suppose I can choose to go back in the closet and pretend I am not gay. I can try to forget about the love I feel for T and chooses to walk away from him. That will make everything better, right?

Probably not. K never forgets anything. She clearly remembers ever transgression I have ever committed in the 18 years I have known her.

I doubt she will forget I am gay. Even if I tried to pretend and she agreed to try again, I know that every time she saw me "aroused" she would wonder if it was her or the guy on the cover Men's Health making me that way. She's not stupid.

2 comments:

manxxman said...

Moving out (and on) is not a choice but it is a direction. And right now you need a little "direction" in your life.

Men's Health huh......I never thought of that one while I was married.....

Bear Me Out said...

Painful as it is, you are taking a step toward the Light and the Truth. It will not be at once, but it will be shown to you that you are doing the right thing.