On Thanksgiving, my parents had their 43rd wedding anniversary. In this day and age it is a long time to be together. Over the years, like all couples, there are ups and downs, but 43 years later they are still together.
This was something I had always wanted for myself. I like stability and I like things that last. If it was not for the gay thing, I know that K and I would be together forever. I know she always thought that too and it was important to her.
I alway thought it was cool that I could tell people I have been married 16 years (many of them happy). Soon I won't be able to do that anymore. I will just be another divorced guy who could not make his marriage work.
In the long run, I would really like to meet a man that I can have a life long partnership with. I was the stability of knowing that the man I love will be there for me to come home to every night. We can share the ups and downs of life together, at each other's side. When I find the one I am looking for (and it might well be T) he will be the only one I want. I am not interested in a open relationship. I am not interested in "playing together". I am interested in coming home from work to the man I love, making dinner together while discussing the events of the day. Then snuggling on the couch to watch TV, before going to bed. I want my partner to be with me, as much as possible, when I do things with my family (and kids, and even K) and I want to do things with his. I would like to be able to get together with other couples, gay and straight, and have dinner, play cards, or whatever.
For now I am stuck, knowing that I cannot stay on the path I am on, visualizing where I am going, but I unable to tell which path will get me there.