K and I are starting to talk about doing the paperwork for our divorce. She wants to apply to a local private college that we cannot afford for her to attend. However, if she were a single mom of 4 kids making only what she earns at the church, she should be able to get all kinds of financial aid.
I'm not sure why, but I am a little stressed out about it. I have know for some time this was coming, but I guess I just forgot about it.
I am not in love with her and I know that staying married is not right for either of us. Besides she has fallen in deep for AJ and they are talking about a long term future. His daughter is talking about them getting married, but it is too soon for either of them. AJ still has issues to resolve regarding his late wife before he will be ready.
I know that we will have a peaceful divorce. I cannot imaging us fighting about much. For example, until she is finished with school, I cannot see that we will handle our money any differently than we do now. Once she is finished with school, she will not need my money since we will be making roughly the same. Of course, we will both pitch in for the kids.
Besides, if there is something that she wants and I am not sure I want to give it to her, all she has to do is give me her pouty face, and I will cave. (I hope she does not teach that to T).
Anyway, I guess this is the final chapter of the marriage. While I am reasonably sure this will simply be a middle chapter for our relationship, once the marriage is dissolved, she really could leave and never return. I don't think that is likely, but it could happen and that makes me a little nervous.
Maybe it is a reminder of the failure of my marriage. It is a reminder of the hurt we went through over the past 2 years. I guess it is another change and I really don't like change, even though I know it will be OK.
Tuesday Morning Male Beauty - Pt 2
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