I need to get in front of it and talk to them. I need to tell them myself. My oldest son, uses Facebook and I would not want something I say there, or something someone else says, to clue him in before I have a chance to talk to him (and the other kids).
When I do talk to them, what do I say? I know that I need to tell them the truth, but I am worried about how they will feel about things. I think the way I tell them is important. I also think I need to anticipate their questions (as best I can) and be prepared to answer them.
- Dad is a liar. I am worried about this. If you believe that people are born gay, you have to wonder what someone is thinking when they come walking out of the closet at age 42 after being married 17 years and having 4 kids. I know the readers of this blog understand what I was thinking, but my kids do not read this blog (at least I hope they don't). Neither do they have the perspective to understand what it is like growing up gay in the late 1980's. How do I explain this so they understand?
- Why is dad doing this? This is a big one too. It's not that I am actually "doing" anything. I am simply adjusting to live my life honestly, as I am. As who I am. But I can see from their perspective, I am the person that is causing the upheaval in their lives. They will think, "How can I do this TO them?"
- Gay is bad. This one will be the hardest one to overcome. My oldest is a freshman in high school. My next oldest son is in 7th grade. They hear "gay" all the time, and it's never a good thing. There are really two separate issues here. One is how the kids, particularly the boys, will feel about it themselves. The next will be how will they be treated if others find out. I will have to talk about this more in another post.
These are some of the things I have thinking about. Some of the things that have been causing me stress.