I am sitting at a picnic table at a park near K's house. My daughter is playing in a softball game. K is helping coach the pitcher. I am watching my youngest son as we plays on the playground. My older boys are at a friends house playing Xbox.
I am feeling calm now. Calm compared to my meltdown last night. BTW, I really appreciate all the words of support from my Blogger friends. It really helps me.
Last night K told the kids I was feeling sad. My oldest son called to check on me around 11:00 before he went to bed. I'm not sure I'm happy she did that. Especially for the younger kids, I don't want them to think they are responsible for my happiness. That is not their problem, it's mine.
As I watch my son run around on the playground, easily making friends with total strangers, I feel happier. Even though we are not really doing anything together, I know he is there and he knows I am there.
I guess I was due for a meltdown and last night, I had it.