This has been a very stressful week, and I don't feel like I have accomplished very much. In truth I haven't, but I am still wound up so tight. T is up to his eyeballs in work. I have not been able to see him all week, so I'm lonely too.
When the kids first moved out, it was not easy coming home to an empty house, but I found after a while I was really only there to sleep. I was going to K's house every day after work to be with the kids. Now that I have been out of work for a little more than 2 weeks, I find it is not the night time that's hard, it's being there alone during the day that is hard.
K is not in school all day, so there are some days that I go to her house just the hang out with her. I bring my computer and my books and do work there. Usually she is working on homework too, so it's not really social, I just don't want to be alone.
I started studying for the GRE this week too. I am feeling a lot of stress about that. The stuff in there is not really that hard. That is for someone who is in school now. It has been twenty years since I last sat in a class room or had to take a test. My brain is so rusty, it is going to take a long time for me to re-learn all the general crap I forgot from college, or even high school. The score on this test will be important for me getting into school. My grades from college were not very good, well below the standards for this school. I'm sure I will do well on the prerequisite classes I know I have to take. I'm hoping they look more at these recent classes rather than 20 year old grades.
T is confidant I can do it. I am really grateful for his support. Even though I have not seen much of him lately, I know he supports me nonetheless. That helps me a lot.
K is very worried about the whole school thing. She is concerned about how we will make ends meet with my income more than cut in half. To be honest, I'm worried about it too, but I just have to trust things will be OK.
Bowling is still a lot of fun. I am meeting a lot of people, and everyone is very friendly. I'm even getting used to the guy who dresses up.
That's all I have for now. I will be seeing T tomorrow. He is coming up to my house. I'm super excited to see him, but of course I have come down with my first cold of the season. By tomorrow, I will feel awful.
I am gay man in his 40's who was married for 18 years to a straight woman, who is still my very best friend. We have 4 children together. She is now remarried and we still want to be supportive of each other and make a stable family for our kids.
Cast of Characters
Jim: That's me
K: The wonderful woman I married in 1993. We divorced in November 2011, and she is still my best friend.
T: My ex-boyfriend. We were together from 2008 to 2013. He is still an important person in my life.
AJ: K's new husband. They got married December 2011.
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