There are good days and there are bad day.Maybe it is all my perception. Maybe she is angry all the time and I don't always see it. Maybe when she hides is, I assume progress is being made. Maybe I am stupid.
Maybe I am so desperate for everything to work out OK, that I am blind to the idea that it may not work out OK. It is very hard for me to think that way, but I am making some progress.
Not long ago, when K would display her anger and hurt, I would go over in my mind that maybe, just maybe I could go back into the closet and once again refuse to be gay. I don't feel that way anymore. I am gay, I will keep being gay and no matter how much I love her and want her to be happy, I cannot change who I am. I cannot stop being gay.
I have to accept that there will be ups and downs on this journey as I look for the rainbow.
2 comments:
Hugh progress, such hugh progress. And K will be okay in time also.
That's right...you can't change who you are. Accept it and make it work.
Post a Comment